I have mixed emotions right now, and I don’t know how this post is going to go or if I’ll end up publishing it, but I’m going to try to put my words together for you. I’ve been asked so many times to do some updates on running, my fitness, what I eat in a day, and all things health and fitness related. I’ve been very open with how I’ve taken a huge hiatus from fitness and the whole diet culture for a while. The reason I’ve been avoiding those topics is that I’ve been trying to give my brain a cleanse from all things health and fitness related.
Here’s where my mixed emotions come to play.
Last fall, I took a hiatus from working out, caring about the food I ate or cautiously watching my portion sizes. I’ve been very intuitive with my diet and exercise. I eat when I’m hungry (even if I just had lunch an hour ago), I go for a walk if I feel like it, and I have chocolate more than once a day if I want it. There haven’t been any rules for the way I live in a long time, and I’ve never felt this “normal.” The crazy part is that when you do physically recover from an eating disorder, it takes years for you to recover mentally. Anyone who’s been through it knows exactly what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, consider yourselves very lucky. There were days when I never thought I’d get into that mindset. And it doesn’t help when your life is on the internet, and so many opinions about your body are circulating the comment section. If you gained weight, they let you know, and if you lose weight, they also let you know. That’s not healthy for anyone, and it’s not just the internet; I have people close in my life that are extremely toxic when it comes to diet culture, and I have to check myself out from those conversations completely. Thank you, therapist, for those exercises! As soon as I was old enough to walk and talk, I was already being introduced into the diet culture. I’d do my mom’s workout videos with her, I’d drink her Slimfast shakes, and I’d mimic my aunt’s Atkins diet. I was doing everything I could, even as a little kid, just to be thin and fit. My entire life up until a few years ago had been consumed with haunting thoughts and negative body positivity. I’ve been very open about it on the blog but took a step back these past months and chose not to talk about anything as I went on a new journey of exiting this whole “diet” world.
Where I’m going with this.
Since taking my hiatus, I’ve been very happy and stress-free. All of my friends are extremely into fitness, and it’s been hard dealing with the FOMO and saying “no” when it comes to going to the gym or training for a race with them. But I’ve been very confident with my “no,” and that’s been the best part. I now feel healed in the mind and would like to start getting myself back into the world of fitness, but for the right reasons. I want to start reaching for more whole foods again and not having frozen pizza two nights in a row. I want to walk more trails and play more tennis now that it’s getting warmer. I don’t want to get back into running yet, but maybe eventually. The reason I want to start getting more active is so that I can feel strong, boost endorphins, and simply get into shape. When I say “get into shape,” I mean not heavy breathing after running up the stairs. I used to think “getting into shape” was looking good in a bikini, but that’s not the case. This time, I’m going into fitness differently. I’m ready for it this time. I used to force myself to do things because I let my diet culture mindset win. The crazy part is that even after my hiatus, my weight is lower than it has been in a few years, and my jeans fit me better. My doctor told me it’s because working out was causing my cortisol levels to rise so much, and after taking the hiatus, my body wasn’t in stress-mode, and I was losing weight. Again, it’s not about the weight, but that was just an example as to why I was not ready for fitness during that time in my life. I just want to get this all out here just in case anyone can relate to how I’m feeling or this stage in my life that I’m going through. And if none of this makes sense to you and you just came here for the smoothie recipe, scroll below. Starting today, I want to be more proactive in my activity levels. My Apple Watch is actually on the charger for the first time in five months…
I’m not going on a diet…
Last night, after eating the last slice of frozen pizza, I said to Kyle, “I think I’m going to start Whole30 tomorrow.” And then I thought to myself, WHY?” Was I just doing that because I felt bad about the pizza, or was I just sinking back into old habits? Well, whatever it was, I quickly said, “no, you’re not going to do Whole30 tomorrow.” Instead, “You’re going to go to the grocery store and purchasing a ton of great nutritious foods and continue to eat intuitively.” So that is what I did today. I loaded my cart with fresh produce, frozen fruits for smoothies, fresh fish, tea, dark chocolate, gluten-free bread, crackers, hummus, yogurt, roasted almonds, protein powder, and more. My goal is to keep eating as healthy as possible but treating myself whenever I feel like I want something. I was just very proud of myself for sticking out this long-term goal of mine, and always practicing intuitive eating and zero limitations. Life, for me, is about balance. For example, on Wednesday night, I had french fries for dinner and didn’t think twice about it. Old me would have been distraught.
There’s no moral to the story here other than that it’s human for us to want to fall back into old habits, but we need to recognize that and choose the better route. My goal this spring is to start eating better and moving more but for the RIGHT reasons. It’s simple, and maybe this inspired someone to do the same, or not to go down the route they didn’t want to go when it came to “dieting.”
Now, I hope you’re ready for some smoothie bowls, trail walking posts, tennis, big jumbo salads, and more this spring! I’m ready to start feeling like my best self again.
This weekend, I am going to do THREE active things. I challenge you to do the same. I’ll be talking more about this on Monday, and I hope you report back with what activities you did! 😊 Sorry for the rambling, but sometimes I feel like it’s the best form of therapy! Typing this out also helps, and I always feel like you all hold me accountable when I mention something. I know at least one of you will, and that’s all it takes for me to feel it.
Oh, you wanted this smoothie bowl recipe? It’s just unsweetened cashew milk, fresh spinach, frozen raspberries, frozen peaches, and one scoop of Vega vanilla with greens protein powder. I topped it with banana, granola, coconut, and chia seeds!
Questions for you
- Did you notice my lack of health and fitness posts?
- What will you do to get active this weekend?
- Would you like me to talk more about this new journey?
Love this so much! I completely understand removing yourself and really feeling “normal”. Even I have to stop myself sometimes from questioning other people’s hiatus from fitness or stop criticizing myself because I’m not “dieting” properly. Thank you for always being so honest with us…you’ll still have supporters on whatever journey you choose to take.
Hi, Nathaly!
That was so kind of you! THANK YOU.
This is why I love your blog
1. I did! It made me sad only because your blog inspires me to be healthier. When you post workouts or healthy recipes it is inspiring. But completely understandable why you haven’t and I’m so happy you are in a much better place!
2. I’ve been trying to get back into running and now that it finally isn’t raining I’m looking forward to doing a run/walk.
3. I would enjoy hearing more about it. Good luck in your new journey!!
Thank you so much, Ellen!
I just needed some time to live a life without that being the main focus, and now I feel more motivated to slide back into it gradually.
A run-walk is always a nice way to fit in a workout.
Thank you 😊
Hey Tara, I just wanted to say thank you for opening up here! I did notice the lack of fitness and food related posts, but I especially love reading your posts like this. When they feel “real” if you know what I mean (not that other posts are “fake” lol)
I would love to read more about this new journey and your intuitive eating and fitness. I could definitely relate and I’m sure others can to ☺
Also can’t wait for your guys new house and all the blogs to come about that! Congrats btw, so exciting!
Hi, Melissa!
Thank you 😊 I know what you’re saying. This was a quick post from the heart and not a recap of things from the week. I totally get it!
I appreciate your words and I’m excited about all the new chapters!
I respect you so much for this! I understand completely what you’re saying and going through and want to just encourage you to keep going with it 🙂 It’s a gift you’re giving yourself. Share what you feel comfortable with. I hadn’t noticed the lack of direct fitness goals. Diet culture is everywhere, would love to have your blog as another one of the positive voices rising above the fray.
Thank you 🙏
Hi! Great post that I can totally relate to. I don’t know what it is – maybe we’re getting older (approaching 30s)? But i have felt more in tune with my body and what it needs this past year. I also have swapped out fad diets, “low-fat” foods and counting calories for more whole foods and intuitive eating. I’m exercising to feel stronger, rather than smaller, and I’m embracing the space I take up. No more trying to fit into size 2 pants, when I should be wearing a 6!
So that was the long way of saying YES, I would love for you to talk more about this journey on your blog. I think it’s helpful for everyone to learn that they don’t have to follow diet culture to be happy and healthy.
This weekend I plan on getting out on some local trails with my buddies, going to my favorite weight lifting class, and maybe going for a bike ride by the river! Spring is on its way! Have a great weekend!
Hi, Andrea!
I was thinking about that today, too. 30 is coming and maybe that’s why I’m more accepting of “ME.” love that you’re taking all the steps into changing the culture as well. Crazy what we’ll put ourselves through just to be “size.” I will listen to your words and start opening up more 🙏
Love that! I hope to hit the trails too!!
i would LOVE to hear more about this journey. I recently started doing the same (minus the removing workouts, just because my brain loves the downtime working out). I love hearing what everyone is doing with food and how different foods are affecting different parts of peoples lives.
Also, I am DROOLING over that smoothie bowl.
Thanks, Kristin!
I will definitely start doing some smaller posts like this opening up!
I could hardly wait to down that bowl for lunch today! 😂
Thank you for sharing. This is very inspiring and exactly what I needed to hear. Cheers to intuitively eating. Even though I am in a state where I need to lose a few pounds I want to do so intuitively.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Thanks, Ashley!
Balance is the way to go, and your body will get to where it needs when you treat it well 😊
Have the best weekend! xo
Hello Taralynn, I love this post. Im trying so hard to be an intuitive eater. Still trying but your posts helped me a lot. To answer your questions:
1. No about your lack of health because everything you eat seems so healthy for me but yes for the fitness, even if youre still very active.
2. Im going to walk saturday and sunday. Ill see for the 3rd thing.
3. Yes !!!!
Enjoy your week-end and thanks again for your post.
Hi, Marie!
It takes time to get there, but it’s so rewarding.
Love that you’re going to go for a walk! I’m doing the same 😊
I loved this post, Tara! I cherish your honesty. I’ve been reading since Undressed Skeleton was the name of your blog. I look forward to your updates and this one really hit home for me. I would love to hear more about this new journey. This weekend, I’ll be continuing to run in preparation for my half marathon in April. Running is a stress reliever for me, and I’m stepped back from weighing myself all the time. Keep up your good work! You’re an inspiration. xo
Love this so much! And can relate! I’ve been going back and forth with my hard workout routine and the super structured eating and asking myself the hard questions like- is it even working? I think for people that love health and fitness so much it is a hard one, but I think our bodies are always trying to tell us something. So proud of you and as always thank you for sharing!
You said it right “our bodies are trying to tell us something” and they KNOW BEST! ♥️ xo
This post is so inspiring to me. You’re so right when you say it takes YEARS to mentally heal from an ED. I still struggle with it – I had a mental breakdown two weeks ago yet I have been weight restores for a few years. I would love to get to where you are and eat intuitively. I wish our culture didn’t focus so much on health as dieting. Maybe I wouldn’t have ended up this way and I would have continued eating intuitively like I did for the first 22 years of my life. Also, typing this out is the first time that I realized I’ve been battling this for EIGHT YEARS (only 3 of which I would classify as the actual ED) and I’m astounded. I don’t want to have to do it for the rest of my life…sorry for the rambling post!
Hi, Stacie!
Thank you 🙏 You got this 💪 It’s a long and tough road, but so worth it. I would say therapy was my best decision and it’s helped me the most in the past two years. She’s taught me how to avoid certain mindsets and to check out of conversations that aren’t healthy for me. Also quitting things altogether helped me finally escape the mindset. You deserve a healthy mind and I have a feeling you’re going to power through this and come out stronger.
I’m so happy to read this! Good bye diet culture! Good for you for getting to a place where you know what you want and what works best for you. And you’re amazing for dealing with all of the internet negativity and still posting vulnerable posts like this! I don’t think I could be that strong or brave.
Thanks so much, Becky! ♥️ I definitely have WAY more kind people than mean people so that is what helps me stay unbothered.
You have no idea how much I needed this right now. I’m still in the mental battle of trying to overcome an eating disorder, and lately have been struggling not to give back in to the diet mentality. So, thank you for sharing your journey – you truly are an inspiration ❤️
🙏 prayers to you! The best thing to do is to invest your time in things that fulfill you that have nothing to do with health and fitness! You start to realize how UNIMPORTANT it all is sometimes.
I love everything about this and relate so much. I have put so much pressure on myself to run a certain number of times a week for years, to work out every day, and recently, over the past month, just decided to cool it and just eat whole foods and give myself breaks when it comes to working out. I take more rest days than I’ve ever taken, and it’s paying off!
While I enjoy reading your food posts, I like knowing that you’re doing what’s best for you.
This weekend, I’m hopefully going hiking with my husband and getting stuff done! Have an awesome weekend!!
Hi, Krista!
I love that! You have to take the time to heal mentally and give your body a break. Those rests are going to make you even stronger.
Kyle and I are going to go for a hike too! Have a beautiful weekend!
Thais post saved me! I’ve been taking the same approach to health and fitness in general, and It feels a Million times better than when i used to Freak out over It. I feel like i finally have balance.
Hi, Luana! 💜 That makes me so happy to hear. Balance is everything!
It’s important for you to share this message. As I read the story I couldn’t help but think about the people who probably have followed you for some time and thought.. “wow, she has it all together, I wish I could be like that, or I’ll never have that kind of self control and discipline.” Those people need to see this side of you. They need your encouragement and transparency about the true struggles you faced on the journey to where you are. Today more than ever we need people with your kind of mental strength to share the not so beautiful times of our lives..because we all have them.
Hi, Erica!
Thank you for that. That was so meaningful. 💜 no one is perfect, and it’s hard to see that at times, but I’m going to try my best to keep sharing more openly.
🙏
This is great, thank you for sharing. I noticed hearing you say “I want to…” and nowhere was there “I should…” – should is that word that gets us into so much trouble.
I see for many people that diets or exercise is a way to connect and share with each other. It can be tough to strike out on your own and just do you. I have found the idea of intuitive eating so eye opening. Getting away from a generalized sense of what’s good and what’s bad – and treating food like rewards or restrictions – instead just listening to your body. I sounds so much easier than it is. Good for you for taking a journey to find what’s right for you. It’s an on going thing.
It all starts in childhood – this idea of certain foods being ‘treats’ and certain foods you have to eat in order to get that treat. It doesn’t create the right mindset. But I get lost on what parents can do to help get away from creating these behaviors and teach about nutrition.
Hi, Stefanie ♥️
You’re so right about that. The “should” used to be my thing. Now, it’s “want.” I love that you noticed and pointed it out.
Definitely starts when we are young for sure. I’m happy to see more people aware of that.
1. I noticed, and I liked the shift in your focus! I’m getting back to fitness after a hiatus as well (partially because I had some health issues crop up in January and February, and partially because I could tell I just needed to take a step back).
2. My in-laws are visiting us in Charleston for the first time this weekend. The weather is supposed to be beautiful, so I’m planning on exploring with them, so I’m expecting to meet my step goals on Saturday and Sunday. I’m also loving Pilates workouts right now, so I’m going to fit some of that in as well! I always feel like my tension has melted away by the time I’m done.
3. Yes, please share as much as your comfortable with! Diet culture is everywhere, and I’m trying to heal myself from it as well after years of struggling with my relationship with food and my body image.
Hi, Victoria!
Seems like we’re both in the same stage of getting back into it! 😊
There’s nothing better than walking around Charleston! It’s one of my favorite parts of the city. Have so much fun with your in-laws! Looks like the weather is going to be PERFECT this weekend!
Love your shift, and I look forward to sharing more about this journey! xo
As someone who recovered from an eating disorder myself about a decade ago and then recently spent 5 years as an RN on an inpatient ED treatment unit I applaud you! It’s hard to listen to your body and give it what it needs, I still struggle with eating intuitively when I’m stressed, which is a lot thanks to grad school, but I just keep trying and give myself a break if I have a bad day.
1. I did notice, and was hopeful you were doing what you needed for yourself.
2. I hope so some stretching/yoga.
3. Yes! Please do, it’s very inspirational!
Hi, Bethany!
Thank you so much, especially coming from you! I felt a bit bad about not sharing the fitness stuff on the blog, but I needed my time to process before opening up.
I can’t wait to continue to share! Thank you for all that you do.
To echo others, I needed this too. This message is SO important. After reading the intuitive eating book, I’ve really been feeling like I’m *starting* to let go of dieting culture. My eating disorder was never officially diagnosed, but I knew full well it was there. It’s taken 2 years after hitting my lowest weight and trying to turn things around to get to this point when I’m not still trying to restrict my calories consciously or not. I stopped drinking large amounts of caffeine, started purchasing organic, and gave up artificial sweeteners and a lot of processed goods. This along with intuitive eating has helped me to feel like I’m honoring my body, exercising (which I LOVE to do), and healing my mind as well. I would love to hear as much about this part of your journey as you would like to share. ❤️
Hi, Sarah
So glad I decided to hit “publish” today 🙏
Thank you for sharing your journey and I love hearing that you’re on the rise. Makes me so happy!
I am living for this post. The last few years I spent time training and running marathons, and now I’m known for it by all my friends, family, and coworkers. I was the “fit” one who did these crazy races, and I felt like after a couple of years of doing them that I wanted to slow down, but because I felt like I was letting everyone down and I didn’t want people to think I couldn’t do them any more, I would force myself to go to the gym and do workouts I didn’t want to do and I would always end up leaving and feeling awful. I also felt like I was letting myself “go” just because I wasn’t as toned or as fit. I was letting all of these things define who I was and what I should be doing,
For the last few years I had been dealing with a bad eating cycle and this year was the first year I finally just stopped working out, ate when and how I wanted, until I finally felt normal again. Now I am slowly reintroducing working out with small goals and never forcing myself. This is the best relationship with food I’ve had in a long time, and now I’m doing what I can to do the same with the gym.
I love this post so much, and it makes me feel like its ok to just slow down and take it easy until you feel like yourself again.
I love your posts and I love your outlook on things!
Hi, Reema!
I understand that pressure, and sometimes it’s scary to be known for something and to face responses once you put a holt to those habits. You definitely aren’t letting anyone down, and most of the time it’s just us in our heads overthinking everything. Crazy what our minds can do to us. I always try to remember that most people are overthinking their own lives to ever care about what I’m doing. It always helps me when I start thinking of what others will think.
I lovee hearing that you’re treating your body well and doing what you want and what your body needs. Working out and eating right is not a race, and it’s ok to slow down 😉
Thanks for sharing your story!!
Such a good post. Do you listen to the Food Psyche podcast? I’ve listened to it a lot over the past few years and it helped get me to a headspace similar to yours. Good luck! and post about whatever! 🙂
Thanks, Alana!
I know this may sound crazy but I’ve avoided all food-related podcasts/videos/books for a while even if they are helpful just because I wanted to escape everything 😊 But I know it really works for a lot of people! I’ll check into it now! thank you 😊
Did you notice my lack of health and fitness posts? Yes, totally have been obsessed with the house updates and I am here for the dog photos!!!
What will you do to get active this weekend? I’m going to walk my dog, clean the house (seriously, such a workout), and do some gardening with my man!
Would you like me to talk more about this new journey? Yes. Definitely. I have struggled with this same stuff for so long and I love that you are on the same side of this with me right now!
Awww well more doggy and home posts to come!!
CLEANING THE HOUSE IS A SERIOUS WORKOUT 😂
xo thanks for stopping by to read! xo
I too battled fitness and eating and lost 150 pounds. I’m a 90% mindful eater with 10% treats and intermittent fasting mixed in. I workout 6 days a week and often reflect on why I push so hard. For me it’s a mental health thing… maintenance yes and toning yes, but therapy too. It’s funny that I can make myself feel guilty because I ate fruit and went over my carbs and couldn’t fit in a workout. Lots of reflection and time and grace …. I’m glad you are finding your balance.
I totally understand that mindset and it can be hard to escape, but it’s so worth it when you can. Congrats on your journey towards health and I hope you find all the balance you deserve. Don’t be too hard on yourself! xo
I love your blog because your posts always feel so genuine and interesting and real! I’m glad you write about topics like this. 🙂
Thank you 🙏
Love love love this! I’ve been following your blog for years and I feel like we’ve been on the healthy life journey together. I’ve also recently come to the realization that constant counting calories, ALWAYS going for the “healthy” options when I’m out, feeling the “need” to workout if I ate out…it’s an obsession and anxiety that is so unnecessary. I was smaller but wasn’t enjoying life so…what’s the point?
I used to focus on heavy weights and low carbs even though I love running and cardio. But everyone kept saying cardio was bad, you don’t need so much “do this do that”. And now my mindset has shifted so much to not care what anyone thinks/says. I wanna run bc it makes ME feel good, and that’s what matters.
I recently had my first longer run in years and it was not pretty and I’m so sore 😂 but I’m so happy I did it bc it felt great (in the moment)
Anyways….I’m so happy you seem to have come to the same conclusion. Doesn’t it feel so good to just do what feels right and go on about your day??
I’d love to see you post about your different workouts and what you do for recovery, either with food, relaxing self care, supplements if any. And also, days you just didn’t feel like being active, what did you do instead and how that made you feel that day? Those would be interesting reads 🙂
This post was amazing! I am currently training for my 5th Comrades ultramarathon (its 90 km) and I’m amazing at how much my mindset has changed since the first time I did it, Back then I entered purely because it would force me to run, force me to eat good food and force me to cut back on the alcohol, fast food and sweets. This time around, I chose to enter because I LOVE my body, I want to treat it well by exercising and eat nutritious food and I want to celebrate that I am physically able to acheive something that so many people are unable to do. I try train intuitively by exercising when I feel good, and resting when I feel drained – so far it’s working! Over the last couple of years, I have quit ALL social media, cut out toxic friends, cancelled my gym contract and even stopped training with other people. I did this because all of the above situations elicited a negative feeling about myself – I started comparing myself to others, I didn’t ever feel good enough/fast enough/thin enough and it made me miserable. I am so grateful for people like you who choose to talk about important topics like this one. I am also approaching 30 so it seems that has something to do with it too, based on previous comments from others! Have an amazing weekend! <3 xxxx
Hey Taralynn, I’m really glad you mentioned this. I have noticed over the years you transitioned into more fitness and health related content with a focus on more clean eating. I understand that you have readers who expect you to post about fitness and recipes that are more health conscious, but I would really love to see more balanced content from you. It’s totally okay to eat a little junk now and then – I’m so excited to see you post about eating fries! Gurl show us the fries! I look up to you as someone who has overcome both an overweight past and an eating disorder and I would love it if you focused more on the exercises you really enjoy and the foods you really love eating. I feel like the “fitness and clean eating influencer” wave is starting to decrease and I’d really love to see you just being your authentic self.
Thank you, Amerie!! ♥️
I just love love love this post. Thank you so much for being so open about your health and mindset. I follow your blog since the “girl in the green dress” days and I am so happy and proud of you. It’s a little like watching a “little sister” growing up over the years (sounds crazy, right? :-). You are so inspirational, loving, caring – just amazing. Thank you so much, this post really made my day. I will attend a wedding tonight and will enjoy all the good food without feeling bad.
Thank you so much, Sue!
I can’t believe you’ve been around so long and honestly, where is the time going!
Have the best time at the wedding, dance like no one is watching, eat all the delicious food, have some cake, and enjoy! xo xo xo
Hi Tara, thank you for sharing this about yourself, and well done you for what you are trying to achieve!
Food is an issue for so many people, in so many different ways!
So hard to go against the grain on this, with so many articles out there each day about this diet, that way to exercise, and people’s expectations about what you should look like or the weight you should have, especially if it’s coming from people close to you. (For me it’s my mum, who struggled with being overweight most of her life and constantly comments on my weight, if I put some on, to remind me to not end up like her, to eat less and exercise etc, and I’m not even that overweight).
It is a long battle, but one I hope to win someday. Little steps! It helps to have a husband who loves you for who you are and doesn’t judge you on your weight. Much love to you and hope you carry on with this healthy process and frame of mind!
Thank you for sharing this Taralynn! If I had to choose one thing that I love about your blog, it’s that you’re REAL! To us, you are picture perfect and a role model, but you have no issue showing us the life behind the lens and it’s truly heartwarming. Although I can’t relate to your exact situation, I’m on the other side (I’m overweight) trying to develop a healthy relationship with food. I get so flustered with diets like keto-this and IF-that, that I haven’t been successful yet. I felt like if I want to get fit, I need to spend hours in the gym each day. But the reality is, all of that in and of itself stresses me out even more and sets me up to fail. I love your concept of intuitive eating and moving! I’m going to adopt that lifestyle as well and work on how I feel mentally, because more often than not, it’s not in a good place. So thank you for that <3 this weekend will be warm, so I plan on hiking, working in my garden, and doing some yoga. I would love to hear more about your journey! I hope you have a great weekend! xoxo Kelsey
Hi, Kelsey!
Thank you for the kind words ♥️ I totally understand that side of the scenario and seeing people rave about Keto, IF, HIIT workouts, and so on can get so overwhelming. It’s important to realize that no one’s body is the same. What works for them may not work for someone else. And when you’re stressed about it all, that’s when everything is almost impossible. For whatever it’s worth, back in the day when I was trying to lose weight for the first time in my life, I ate three healthy meals a day with snacks and a dessert and went out on long walks while listening to music. That’s when I had the BEST results because it was something I could commit to. You don’t have to do the stressful workouts or strict diets, because those aren’t things anyone will stick to forever. You have to do something that you can do for a lifetime ♥️
Sounds like you have the most relaxing weekend! I can’t wait to hear more about it! xo
I think it’s great that you took time off to refocus and get in a healthy mindset. I’m happy to hear you are getting back to fitness! It seems to be an important part of your life and something that you genuinely enjoy. Just have to figure out that good place of balance for you! I struggled with the same thing after years of calorie counting and doing 7-8 CrossFit and HIIT work outs a week. My body was exhausted and I wasn’t seeing results!
Now after a long struggle to find that balance, I will be doing my first bodybuilding/bikini stage competition in 16 weeks! It’s terrifying but also a huge goal of mine. I was worried what strict prep would do to my mindset. It’s actually shown me that you can get strong and fit in a healthy way. I eat plenty of food and don’t over exercise and have had a better mindset and better results than ever!
Thank you, Kayla!
♥️ Keep doing what you think is best for you!
Thanks for being so honest, Taralynn! I support you in whatever you do. You’re a real inspiration! ❤️✨
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Thanks, C! xo
I did notice the lack of fitness material but not healthy material! Your posts to me now seem to be about a healthy WELL BEING and a realistic life which is a fresh of breath air. Diets are the worst, the absolute worst. I love your new mind set about food in your life and would love to hear more about it. It’s all about balance!
I used to be a runner but since having a baby have been walking a ton! So this weekend I’m hoping for a few long (hopefully sunny) walks! I’m also thinking I’ll get back into running soon here, but nothing to extreme! I love trails as well!
Thank you, Emily! 💜 Congrats on the baby! That’s such a fun and exciting chapter for your life!
Good morning and Happy Saturday! Can I just say, you are so AMAZING! I loved this post. I have noticed your lack of fitness / food posts but I have also noticed how freaking happy you look in every post. I swear you are glowing!! One of the many things I love about your blog is your honesty and vulnerability. I hope you know how inspiring that is. Thank you for being you and for always being you!!! I just love following along with your journey. I hope you continue to talk about this topic!! <3
Ok…3 active things…I love this challenge because I am so terrible at taking the time to be active on the weekends! I think I will go for a dog walk each day, hit a gym class with my roommate, and have a dance party while cooking dinner! 🙂
Lots of love!!!!!!
Thank you, Anastasia!!!
You are the absolute sweetest ♥️
Have the best weekend! xo
I only thought of the lack of fitness posts as “winter”. I have a harder time being motivated this time of the year.
I’ve been really enjoying the pilates and yoga on the FitOn app lately. I realized how boring I find running right now. Instead of clearing my head I find I have to try to think of things to fill up the time and I dread it.
I liked this post because I think it is good to see that other people aren’t perfect all the time. It helps to see a bit of struggle and blahs.
I’ll have to check that out. I actually really love pilates!
♥️
I needed to read this today.
🙏
This is such a relatable post to where I am currently. I feel like our health journeys have some similarities. I was also introduced to diet culture at a young age from my mom and other family members like aunts. I would try fad diets. At the end of high school I was 225lbs, depressed and defeated from all fad diets. After two brain surgeries in 2012, and my discharge papers stating I was obese, I started to get healthy, exercise and lose weight. Soon it became obsessive and turned into an eating disorder where I went down to 132lbs in 5 months (I’m 5’9). Soon the binge eating came and I struggled with that up until about 6 months ago when I switched therapist and started really trying intuitive eating. I stopped extreme exercising and just gave myself a break. It’s been hard and some days I really struggle with my body image, but most days I am so much mentally healthier.
I’m so thankful for you posting this for everyone to read. It is relatable and encouraging!
I love the idea of giving our brains a break from diet culture. It’s such a wonderful feeling to embrace intuitive eating.
Thank you so much for sharing <3
I had noticed but also your in a different phase in life getting a new house, planning a wedding and just soaking in the bliss. We go through phases all through life where we do resets I call them and we usually go back to the something we left behind for a bit: running, creating art, daily walks etc.. I think it’s our mind and bodies way of resting and resetting. Does that even make sense? I know what I want to say just not sure I typed it right 🙂
3 things: Does house cleaning and climbing up and down the basements stairs all weekend doing laundry count? I hope so. Playing outside with my mini aussie puppy.
I’ll read your blog whether it’s house diy’s, recipes, meal planning etc.
Have an awesome weekend!
Hi, Shannon!
That totally makes sense! ♥️
That for sure counts! Puppies are a handful! 😂
xo xo appreciate your kind words!
Thank you for posting this. I have struggled with weight and food for a long time. I go through fazes of depression where I don’t eat and I lose an unhealthy amount of weight and then there are times like the last few years when my weight has gone up because of medications and overeating because of stress, so I was restricting calories and exercising to the point of injury and just stressing myself out more. You have mentioned intuitive eating in the past and that really helped me change my mindset. I became (mostly) vegan 6 months ago for sustainability reasons, but even with not eating certain things, I am still eating more intuitively. I don’t count calories, time workouts, weigh in every day, or any of the other things I used to. And I feel way better, which is the important part. I’ve lost a few pant sizes but Im not really keeping track outside of having to buy new clothes. I’m so glad you are happy and going on this journey. It is inspiring and I feel like now I can start incorporating some exercise back into my routine without overdoing it. Thank you for your honesty and genuine character.
1. Yes, we’ve noticed that you don’t write about all those diet and fitness struggles. I know that you do it on purpose. 🙂 It is good. I feel that people (including me) like to focus on negative thoughts. We like to see that someone struggles with the same things. We like to identify. It is wrong. For someone with eating disorders the best way in my opinion is not to identify with those bad thoughts. When you write about struggling with your weakest points it is interesting for ppl but it doesn’t serve you. You pay attention to those bad things, you feed them, you make them grow in your own head. It is good to know your enemy but fighting with it only makes it stronger because your attention is what it lives for. Let your eating disorder be your best teacher. Use its power to get stronger and better person. But don’t live on it. You are over it. Eating disorders come only to life when you think about them. So it is very easy. Just try to change your thoughts. For who creates thoughts if not You? So I am happy seeing that your life goes well. I am happy to see you happy. 🙂 Go for it. Stay on your Strong and Healthy Mental State. Write about what You want. Not what ppl would like to see. 🙂 You are further on your Way now. You are older. You have new priorities. We like to see your growth. 🙂 I struggle with eating disorders too. Your blog once helped me to notice the problem. But I don’t want to stay in this. I am fighting to be my best and healthiest Self and I know it all starts in our heads. 😉 The moment of change is always here and now. We have to use it. It always waits for us. Simply notice. This always helps me to get myself back on the Right state of my Mind. 🙂 I feel that listening to your intuition is the best way to stay on the healthy track. Believe me, your soul knows better what you need before the Mind starts to judge it. Eat what resonates with you for the very moment. Your body knows better. And as for sport…yes…there are days that the body has so much energy that it wants to jump…and days when you just want to stay in bed and do nothing. Again. Listen to your own body. Maybe just try to put a little bit of discipline on it, not to let it be lazy..but don’t force it to anything what You yourself don’t want to do. We live only once so just be sure you lived it Your way. 😉
2. Staying active simply by cleaning up the whole house.
3. Write about what You want. I will be here to read whatever you write. 😉
Hi Taralynn,
Thank you for being such a beautiful example of this journey we’re all on. It takes a lifetime to develop a whole person, and I’m grateful for people like you who share your lives openly.
1. It didn’t seem to me like you were expressly not posting about health and fitness, since your recipes are always healthy and you share your dog-walking routine. Your regular activities demonstrate that physical and mental health are ingrained in your day-to-day life and activities.
2. This weekend I’ve been working on my goal of getting back into running. I used to run 6-10 miles per week, but then I went back to school while working. So far I’ve run twice (Friday & Saturday because it felt right; today Ill take a long walk because it’s sunny). I’ve also started the whole30 this week (thanks so much for your past posts about that and your adaptable recipes!), so I’m listening to my body right now when it comes to exercise. I’m already feeling better and starting to see the results I was looking for (better energy & digestion).
3. Share whatever is going on for you that makes you feel you! Your readers are not only along for the ride, but cheering you on as you motivate us. You do a great job explaining the balance of fitness with nutrition. I always love your recipes (on the blog and YouTube) because you’re aware of a host of individual needs and always offer modifications for different ways of eating. I hear you when you say that you feel healthier pulling back from exercise, because sometimes what your body needs is some R&R. I always love to see what’s working for you.
I’ve really enjoyed reading about your travels over the past year, so thank you!
Have a great week, =)
Maureen
Did I notice a change in the blog? Absolutely. I noticed you seemed happier, healthier ( in particular I noticed less mentions of exercised induced aches and pains), and I noticed how much you seemed to embrace the exciting life events like buying a house and getting married. Did I find anything “lacking”? Absolutely not.
🙏 ♥️ thank you!
Thank you for this post! I’ve been in that unhealthy rut many times and after following you for years have learned about balance from your posts! I totally agree with doing what is best for you and makes you feel like your best self. Thanks for always being authentic with us and allowing us to follow your journeys ❤️
Thank you so much ♥️
I love this post but honestly I just thought you have been busy with the new house and wedding plans . I think some times this whole diet world can be a little much and be stressful so I completely understand what you are going through I had a break down myself recently, I have lost just shy of 100 pounds myself and anytime I feel like I ate something I shouldn’t I feel so guilty (I hate that feeling ).
I would love to hear more about your new journey . I have followed you for so many years and have learned so much by you and I have bettered my eating habits because of you .
I definitely get that guilty feeling you experience, but you should be so proud of your journey and be kind to yourself. It’s hard to take a step back after all the progress, but sometimes we forget to put the mind first.
♥️
Thank you for posting this. I have been advised that I have high cortisol levels, so this post came at the perfect time. I’ve been gaining weight despite working out. My Dr suggested I forget calorie counting and eat Intuitively. I’ve also got swap my HIIT for walking and yoga. I’ve also given up caffeine. Thanks for inspiring me to keep going.
Sounds like we’ve been going through the same thing! Listening to my doctor was the BEST thing ever and it’s truly paid off.
Hi Taralynn! I have been reading the blog for YEARS and feel like I have grown up with you. Thank you for the honesty in your posts and just all you are sharing. Intuitive eating is such a huge thing and I love getting to watch your journey. I can’t wait to read more about your journey in this season of life! <3
Thank you for your sweet words 🙏
Thank you for sharing! I needed to read this! I’d love for you to share more about your journey. I’ve been following you since your Undressed Skeleton blog days and I love seeing how you have changed over the years and are so focused on being healthy and living your best life. I’m struggling to get to a good place still with diet/exercise. I am doing a half marathon in May, but instead of killing myself training for it (I’m not a big runner), I am going to walk/run it. I am focusing on long walks outside this spring. I run when my body feels like it and walk when it doesn’t instead of following a strict running mileage plan. Even if I only run 3 miles of it I want to be happy with myself and my body for all it can do.
I love the way you eat intuitively, all of you posts give me a ton of inspiration. The way you make meals that you just enjoy, and always look delicious. You have definitely helped me to tone down the need to diet and to just make healthy meals. Thank you for that!
Thank you!!!
I so needed to read this! Thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable and share with us readers. I appreciate this post more than you know.
♥️ thank you
Thank you, Taralynn … I keep wondering if there is a chance that intuitive eating and activity that I want to do for fun, for calmer mind, stress relief, etc., is ever going to take hold for me. I don’t want to feel like I need to log my life, even in my mind – tracking steps, counting calories, minutes exercised, whatever. It erodes at my living life. But so does this excess weight, so I almost end up in limbo. Thank you for this. To echo Emily’s comment above, it’s a gift you’re giving yourself … and I want to think of that with my own health/fitness as well.
♥️ thank you, bonnie!
It’s definitely worth trying out, but you have to be kind to yourself and give it a while before intuitively eating clicks. It was a process, but amazing!
1. I didn’t even notice your lack of diet and fitness posts. I enjoy that you talk about a variety of topics because it’s things you actually want to talk about and you don’t force topics. Quality over quantity!
3. I think more posts like this need to be on the internet! You talking not only about physical health but also mental health is really beneficial. I catch me telling myself I “have to workout after work” or “I have to go on a run today” and that’s just not healthy. We should be walking, running, biking, picking up weights, etc. because our bodies are craving it. Not because we ate too big of a lunch and feel guilty. I would love to see more “mental check ins” where you talk about your current mental state and how you are taking care of yourself to keep your stress levels down.
Thanks for sharing your life and something very personal!
I feel like our stories are truly the same! 1000000% and I felt like I was able to push past and ‘cure’ myself of diet culture right before my wedding (same as you) but after being pregnant with my beautiful baby girl- I feel the need to lose the baby weight and social media/diet culture is not helping me stay in a good mindset about it. I am looking forward to reading all of your encouraging words and essentially going on this adventure with you. Reading this post made me feel kinda like “i’m not alone’ thinking this way.
Thank you!
Another reason why you are my favorite!
XOXO
Ashley
Hi, Ashley!
I can’t imagine what you’re feeling but I can totally see how society would make you feel that way!
You should go follow AmbitiousKitchen! Monique just had a baby and she’s so great about being an example to new moms and body image! She’s been so real through it all and I love her message. It may help!
♥️
Thank you for being so open and honest with us about what you have been going through with your fitness and diet hiatus, we understand not always easy to sharing everything with us. sometimes our bodies just need a break so we can listen to what it really needs. I did notice your lack of health and fitness posts, i just thought with the house build, wedding etc you had a lot on your plate so you were just doing less of those posts. this week am ramping up my traning to 3x crossfit and 3x mini hikes with one day off as in one month i am doing the tongariro crossing (19.4 Km up mountain climb with 600m vertical descent) so yes will be getting active this weekend. please do talk more about your journey, we will all support you along the way. have a great week!
Thank you, Harriet!
Hi Taralynn! I have been following your blog for years but have never commented before today as I was too shy (what can I say, I suppose I am a serial “ghost reader”). It even took me three days to comment on this even though I knew I wanted to respond. I myself have been in recovery from an ED for the last several years. It is a period and a toxic mentality in my life that I cannot even bring myself to truly open up about with my best friends, let alone being open and honest about on the internet as you are. Your blog has been a refuge in that you feel like a friend who “gets it” and it makes me feel less alone. Thank you for that. The challenges of trying to get into and remain in recovery from an ED can be absolutely overwhelming in our diet-centric culture, and sometimes it even feels like you have to play along with it in order to appear “normal” amongst other women our age. Add to it that, like you, I am getting married soon (Congrats by the way!) and it is SO HARD not to fall for the mentality that the wedding industry and our current culture pressures onto brides that you need to look “perfect” for the big day (and, of course, that perfect=skinny). My fiance and I even find ourselves joking about “shedding for the wedding” sometimes and then we have to check ourselves- it’s nuts! –Of course, you might not even feel this way in regards to your wedding, so I hope you know I am not assuming that you do– Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I have NEVER followed your blog for the workouts or diet tips but because you feel like a friend and the type of person I would like to hang out with. Reading your blog makes my day a little happier just hearing what you (and your dogs!) are up to. I think you are so brave to share your life (ups and downs) with the rest of us, and I am sorry that there are people out there who make you feel like you are anything other than what you are, which is amazing! Even if you were to never post another fitness or nutrition post again, know that I will continue (shyly) following you and your life. Thank you!
Hi, Mia!
I’m so happy you finally said HELLO! 😊 please don’t be a stranger! I love getting to know everyone who stops by to read here.
It makes me so sad to think about what you’re going through. I’ve been there, and it’s scary and can feel very lonely. I hope you can find someone in your life to confide in and be able to open up about your struggles. And if you can’t with your close ones, you can always turn to therapy. I absolutely love my therapist, and I never feel judged about what I’m going through.
It sounds like you have so many incredible things going on in your life right now. Congrats on your wedding coming up! I heard many things about “sweating for the wedding” and things like that, which is so ridiculous. A wedding day should be so fun and not stressful. That’s why I decided to make it small and just be who I am that day because that is the person Kyle wants to marry. It’s about love and growing life together, not about what we look like on the outside. I know it’s harder said than done when it comes to an ED mind, so I understand completely.
I appreciate all of your kind words and it really brings a light to my day knowing you are here for more than just those fitness/health posts that I built this blog on.
Thank you so much for stopping by to comment, and if you ever need that outlet to share what you’re going through, you always have a place here!
Keep pushing forward!
Hi Taralynn,
Thank you for this post, one of the things I appreciate most about you is that you are always so honest with your readers. You never pretend to be someone else or to follow the social media trends, you are a very sincere person.
I did noticed the luck of fitness and healthy lifestyle posts lately but I thought you probably had your reasons and I like all your posts so it didn’t affect me in any way. I come here to read whatever you write because you are a very inspiring person and fitness is not the only thing that I identify with you. You are much, much more! 🙂
What I enjoy the most are your personal thoughts about things that many bloggers are afraid to mention, like the last post about social media versus blogging , your way to recovery or this post about your hiatus.
Honestly, as soon as you just keep writing, I will keep reading! All your posts are great. Plus, I can’t wait to read more about you decorating your new house 🙂
Big hugs,
Milena
Hi Taralynn!
I did notice that you took a little hiatus from posting about health and fitness, but not in a way that I felt a need to ask you about it or even that I missed it, I just simply noticed. I’ve been enjoying all of your lifestyle posts about the house and what you do on the weekends and the tidbits we get about wedding planning. I love that you are real and vulnerable with your readers and I think that’s what keeps me coming back to your page. I haven’t lived with an eating disorder, but still feel the pressures of society about being thinner and prettier. I often find myself going so back and forth between wanting to be skinnier and also being comfortable with who I am in the skin I am in. It’s such a yo-yo feeling. Anyway, glad to hear you are feeling well and doing well!
Hello Taralynn,
I have been following your journey for several years – maybe from the very beginning when your blog was completely weight-loss focused. I have loved to see your transformation – particularly how the physical changes have been accompanied by changes in the state of mind and a general understanding of what health and happiness look like.
Thank you for your honesty, your openness, and your transparency. Your blog is one of the very few that I follow as I believe it is a realistic reflection of what life really is: some good days, some bad days, some more structural and permanent struggles, but overall an intention to be a better version of ourselves and to enjoy as much as possible our lives.
Please keep on sharing! Just by being yourself you inspire many of us to do the same – which frankly is something quite revolutionary in this day and age.
I did have one specific question related to this post in particular: did you struggle with fear of gaining weight during this “hiatus”? I realize that part of this process is also linked to letting go the need to “measure” yourself all the time by not weighing yourself for example; but in my case, one of the hardest things in embracing the entire intuitive eating approach, is accepting the idea that it means I might gain weight (or get bigger – clothes not fitting the same way, etc.). I would love to hear your experience with this – if any at all!
Many thanks once again and I look forward to keep on reading your inspiring reflections.
This is so great to hear! I feel like everybody I know is on a “new” diet or an “improved” exercise routine. Being healthy should be everyone’s goal, but don’t do things that stress you out!! Have fun on your new journey and I hope you keep us updated!
Hi Tara!
I think it’s very brave of you to confess such “private” thoughts when it’s your blog
As a “former” ED person (not really “former” as I want it to be…) I”m not really understanding why you would want to “go back to a more healthy eating even though you are eating intuitively for months? I would kill to try and success like you did… Why change that whereas you look really healthy and steady. Why don’t you add the fitness and let it be. You look so good!
I’m asking because I really admire the work you did on yourself and I would love to get there myself <3
Hi Tara! Just catching up on all your blog posts. Thank you for always being yourself and encouraging others to love themselves the way they are!
Thanks so much, Jennifer!
As someone also in recovery, I’m sending you so much love. It is hard, almost everyday, but you’re doing it and that’s the difference. So proud of you!
I love this so, so much. I’ve lost track of when I started reading your blog, but it was hard for me, sometimes, to see how strict you were with your diet and exercise. I didn’t want to be negative or discouraging, but tried to just encourage you to find some balance and to be HAPPY.
I love where you are at right now, and I hope that it will be something you can find a way to maintain!
I’m in a similar place. It’s all about balance and contentment for me, and minimizing guilt. You know?
Hi Taralynn! PLEASE keep talking about this new journey. I find it so very helpful as I seem to keep battling disordered eating. I am looking for a therapist who can help me. You give me hope <3
Thank you so much for sharing! I read Women Food and God by Geneen Roth during Christmas and I was SO conflicted yet so relieved.
Conflicted because I “wanted” to diet!
I wanted to have that feeling of control because I have always felt out of control (hello restriction and binge eating!)
but everything she was saying was music to my ears. I cried because I finally felt free.
I knew I needed a change, I knew I don’t ever want to be on a diet again.
It has been hard. I am still figuring it out especially with emotional eating but baby steps. Diet culture is a hard culture to break from but I feel already SO much better.
It is a beautiful work in progress!!
I really loved this post. I have struggled with an eating disorder for 7 years, and although i have physically recovered, mentally i’m not there yet. Although I have really great days, i also have really bad days where I think “will i struggle with this for the rest of my life?” I loved reading about finding intuitive eating and allowing your body and mind not to fall into the diet and fitness culture that has so heavily grown over the last decade. I think it’s amazing that you found a way to be healthy and happy, and i hope you continue to grow and feel this way 🙂
Hi Taralynn! Have you heard of Health At Every Size (HAES)? And have you read the book, Intuitive Eating? Both great resources, especially when approaching health from a place of recovery from an eating disorder. Oh, and the podcast Food Psych by Christy Harrison! So great. Happy to see you’re happy : )
THANK YOU FOR THIS POST
No way! I’m going through a similar thing right now in quarantine. With all the stress and free time I was running/ walking 10 miles a day and yet was the heaviest I’ve been in years.. I was so stressed about trying to stick to a serious regimen while in quarantine. I took the last week to relax, went for walks in the morning or did 1 barre video and relaxed. and already feel and look so much better
I loved what you shared !!
Thanks Taralynn!! 🙂