As humans, we all struggle. We struggle when it comes to emotions, and we struggle when it comes to vanity, not all of us, but a lot of us. I wish I could be that person that wakes up every morning, looks in the mirror, and loves what they see. I don’t think I’ve ever been that person, and it makes me sad. I truly want to embrace my flaws, love every inch of my body, love who I am inside, but I’ve never found a way to do it. My entire life, I’ve felt hovered by nasty and un-welcomed thoughts that fester in my mind. I’m not the type of person that doesn’t work hard either, and I think that’s the frustrating part. If I don’t like something, I’ll do everything I can to control or change it. When things can’t be controlled, it becomes a bigger problem, and this behavior gets unhealthy.
I’ve been on almost all ends of the body types. I’ve been overweight, underweight, and fit. No matter what body type I fell under, I was unhappy. It all came down to the “number.” This number meant a lot to me. I’d rather see this “goal number” on the scale over receiving a million dollar check. I’d choose the number over almost anything. That number controlled my emotions, my activity, my nutrition, my actions, my entire life. I see this number affect the people around me. I know I’m not alone because I see it every day. I can tell someone not to worry about the number on the scale, but secretly find myself doing it. Oh, yeah, I’m being hypocritical and dishing advice I can’t take.
I also have some really positive people who inspire me daily. One of my best friends, who is super fit, has no idea how much she weighs because she doesn’t own a scale, and she’s always radiating happiness. I’m sure she has her down days, but she doesn’t have the number floating above her thoughts 24/7. When I look up, I can see that number above my head, and it’s my daily reminder of how I should be treating my body. Yeah, I know. That’s not healthy. I guess that is why I’m writing this.
For the past months, I have been more active than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I get in almost 20,000 steps a day, miles of dog walks, sixty-minute HIIT classes five days a week, yoga once a week, my macros are all recorded, I drink over 80 fl ounces of water a day, and get over 8 hours of sleep a night. So, it’s safe to say I was pretty frustrated when I stepped on the scale today. How in the world did I manage to gain more weight? Sometimes I feel like just flat out giving up and giving myself a break, but that’s not my personality. I’ll try and try and try until things work. I don’t give up. I also wish I could stop worrying about the way I look and just relax. Even after running 13.1 miles, I was upset with how my legs looked. I forgot to give myself credit for what I had just achieved. 
So, goodbye scale. Here is why: that scale told me I gained weight. I got mad, thought nasty things, and almost let it ruin my entire day. It’s like a never ending cycle, a battle I can’t win. BUT, that scale forgot to tell me that I lost 4.5% body fat, am holding onto water for muscle repair, that I’m building muscle and that weighing less isn’t going to make me a better person. But, for some reason, the pressure to be a certain “number” has always brought me down, especially when you can’t control it.
For the past month, not stepping on the scale made me a happier person. I loved seeing my body transform in the gym. I loved seeing my toned up arms, giant quads, my butt toned and plumped, and the transformation from weight lifting. I lost all of that confidence as soon as I stepped on the scale this morning. Why the hell did I do it? I took a deep breath, swallowed the anxiety, and headed to my workout class. I sat in the front row so I could make sure my form was good while doing the circuits. I didn’t pay much attention to the form. I paid attention to the muscles I built, the girl on the inside, and the fact that the scale was no longer going to have a place in my life. Going to the fitness classes, being a part of the community, and gaining those endorphins make me so happy. I look forward to every day. 
I am going to continue this fitness journey that I’m on right now. I almost didn’t go to the workout because of that scale, and I can’t let it get in my life anymore. I have to let my body do its thing, and focus on being strong, being in shape, and being happy. It’s important to change the things that make us feel less important, or that bring us down. While I try to change and be a better person, I have to remove the things holding me down. Don’t get me wrong; I am still a very happy person. I love my life, and wouldn’t change it for the world, but it’s my job, to be honest, and open with you. I know someone is reading this that can relate, even if it seems silly. I felt like I needed to get this off my chest, and I’ll be back to posting recipes tomorrow.
I need to do a little more reading, relaxing, jumping out of planes, and finding a new hobby that doesn’t involve vanity. Your weight doesn’t make you beautiful; it’s what you contribute to the world.
I am willing to change. I want to change. I need to change.
So, Goodbye scale. I’m breaking up with you. You no longer control me. You no longer have a place in my life. You are no longer welcomed here. You lie. I’m happier without you. You suck. You’re dead to me.
Questions for you
- Have you ever had to say goodbye to something that was bringing you down?
- Did you ever break up with your scale?
- How do you focus on living a positive and healthy lifestyle
Amen girl. I broke up with the scale several years ago and have never looked back! I’m more in tune with myself and body than ever because of it!
It’s so true! I’m NEVER EVER happy after stepping on a scale EVEN when I lose weight. It’s worthless. Love your success with the breakup! xo
I agree 110%. I struggled with anorexia in the past. And while I still have to fight everyday to love the person that I see in the mirror despite what society tells me, the number one thing that brought me down was weighing myself weekly. That number literally controlled my life. I was absolutely miserable. I took a step back and realized that it wasn’t healthy for me. Im so glad that you shared this post because I know that so many people are having the same issues. You are strong, and beautiful and you shouldn’t be influenced by such a trivial thing. thanks so much again!
It’s crazy what a STUPID number can do to the mind. Can’t let the scale control us any longer!
I hope you broke it off with your scale as well! I can relate to your story!
Hang in there! xo
It’s crazy what a STUPID number can do to the mind. Can’t let the scale control us any longer!
I hope you broke it off with your scale as well! I can relate to your story!
Hang in there! xo
I DEFINITELY gave up on the scale a long time ago. I hate when I go to the doctor and step on the scale and see how much weight I’ve gained, or now when I go to the doctor after working out consistently that I still haven’t lost any weight. It doesn’t matter…because I can accomplish so much more than I ever used to before. I’m getting out there and that’s what matters.
Good for you on doing this. You are so talented and deserve to be happy without thoughts of weight floating in your mind. You are contributing so much to the world and in my opinion you do look great doing it. Screw the scale.
You can actually ask the doctors not to tell you your weight or get on the scale backward. I used to do that in therapy years ago.
Thanks for your kind words! Put a smile on my face 😀
THIS. Just this. Thank you. You truly are an inspiration to your readers and this speaks volumes to the type of person you are.
Thanks, Carlee!
XO!
I stopped weighing myself 3 months ago and feel so much better! I judge How my energy levels are, happiness levels and how my clothes fit. It was controlling me. And even if it is a machine, any type of relationship that controls you isn’t a good one. And it’s better just to end things when you realize it’s a problem.
It’s funny that you said you need a hobby that doesn’t involve vanity because my dad told me that just yesterday. “find a hobby that isn’t food” it’s hard when you love food and exercise to think about other things. I haven’t come up with a hobby yet but hopefully I do soon.
Even in the month of no scale, I felt AMAZING! You’re so right about that control. The only thing that should be controlling us is us.
Lol, I just need to be more adventurous. Instead of JUST going to the gym, I need to go somewhere else lol
Enjoyed this post. I have followed you for a long time and I really enjoy your posts. Thank you for sharing this. I am the same way. Trying to lose the baby weight and get toned has put a toll on my mental state but I am not a quitter. I have learned more about myself in the three months I have started my new fitness journey. Thankful that each day is a fresh slate.
Thanks, Melissa!
Stick with it and stay positive! xo Congrats on being a mama!
I loved reading this blog entry as it is something I can totally relate to. I work in professional sports and therefore walk A TON for my job as well as do some other physical activities. I go to the gym when I can to work on weight training (but need to get on a more consistent schedule) but when I get on the scale, I see the number jump up instead of down and it’s frustrating. It’s so hard to not think of that number and I therefore eat accordingly. I keep telling myself that maybe I just gained muscle while losing body fat but have no idea how to even check that. Can I ask how you realized that you lost 4.5%?
I get my body fat tested at the gym. Most gyms have them available. I like to go by that rather than the scale.
It’s beneficial if you’re gaining muscle and burning body fat for sure.
Love this and I need to do it too! Great inspiration!!
I won’t lie though and I thought when I saw this title it was a boy break up and I had to prepare myself to read it like I’m so invested in the life??? Glad it’s the scale!!!!
You are always great inspiration for someone like myself, never give up!!
P.s Although im not from Iowa I live here and feel like I connect with you more because of it
You won’t regret it!
Lol no boy breakup. I love Kyle so much that I’d probably crawl into a hole and cry for a billion months if that ever happened. lol
I highly recommend you tossing that thing away!
& WOOO IOWA! Going back for football season ! GO HAWKEYES!
wow Taralynn….. yes!!! I will share this post forever! I haven’t stepped on the scale in nearly 4 months and it’s because I’m NEVER happy with that I see. The last couple of times I’ve gone to the doctor I face the other direction on the scale and tell them not to tell me my weight. Why? Because I’m strong. I have muscle. I love food (healthy and otherwise). I love working out and I love laying around. And just like you, that scale ruins my happiness. For what? To tell me my relationship with gravity? NOT WORTH IT!!! Thank you for writing this.
Thanks, Bethany!
I’ve done the same and usually do the exact same at the doctors!!
Sounds like we are a lot alike!!
For years, I weighed myself daily and had a 10 lb window I liked to stay in…but honestly always want to be at the bottom 3 lbs. I gave it up one year for lent and never looked back. I’ve been happier ever since and now only get weighed at my yearly checkup. The number may be higher than before, but I can also now squat my body weight, have delivered a baby (without drugs!) and ran 4 marathons; all of which are more important to me than some silly number on a scale. You can do this!
So glad you stepped away from it! Love hearing that, especially if you were weighing yourself every day. You are a bad ass!!!! & such a great example as a mother.
A very honest post Taralynn, thank you so much for that, it was excactly what I needed to hear ? Btw you ARE beautiful, fit, honest and a great person inside and out, don’t ever forget that ???
Thank you, Michelle!!!!
love how honest you are in this post, and i couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve just said!
to be honest, i stopped looking at the scale about a decade ago because i didn’t think that one number gave me the full picture, anyway. if you know you’re active and healthy, and more importantly, HAPPY, then that’s what counts!!
Thanks, Jordan.
Such a good move on your part and it’s so true. & Thats all that counts!!
Yay, Taralynn!!!! I’m so thankful you’re taking this step toward better overall health! Trying to attain a certain “number” or body “shape” is utterly life-draining. Being obsessed with how we look completely distracts us from the positive aspects of our bodies (Girl! You’re putting in killer miles, you’re fueling your body with awesome food, your amazing legs carried you 13.1 miles and then healed up afterwards, your body is balanced and strong enough to do handstands….should I keep going???). And it also completely distracts us from the JOY of living and moving and fueling.
Our bodies are GIFTS from God. And the more we value them as amazing gifts, and treat them with gratitude and respect, the better our relationships with food, health, fitness, and body image will be.
I’m excited for you to step out on a more vulnerable and mentally challenging journey toward better health. Keep growing! 🙂
Hi, Lauren!
Totally life draining. Thank you for all the kind words! Totally have me smiling right now. You are so right about taking care of our bodies as a gift from God because that is what they are and I’m so blessed to be living in mine. Life could be so much worse, so why am I obsessing over a number?
xo xo xo
I’ve definitely given my scale the heave ho. My weight hasn’t changed at all in a year, yet I’ve dropped 2 sizes. Between February and May, I’d lost so much fat and gained so much muscle. I still fall into the trap of looking at that number from time to time, but I literally pulled a truck on Saturday – I’d rather be strong and healthy!
See! Just goes to show why the scale is a liar! Glad you’re saying adios! & congrats on your success.
I’ve been scale-free for just over three years! I used to weigh myself every morning..and every night if I really wanted to upset myself, and decided it really was bringing NO value into my life! So now, I measure by simply never having to buy new clothes since they always fit. It feels good to be free 🙂
Glad your scale free! Three years?? You are my inspiration! I’m going to remember that.
Glad youre scale free! Three years?? You are my inspiration! I’m going to remember that.
Preach! I had this trouble for years and would fixate on a number. Then nearly four years ago I relocated for a job five hundred miles away. I was scared of all the unknown and in the midst of packing I threw away my scale. It was one of the best things I have ever done and it gave me a sense of freedom I hadn’t known I was missing.
So happy to hear that. It’s hard to let go of, but it’s a must! Glad you’re feeling good and free! xo
I became obsessed with my fitness pal. Counting calories consumed me and depressed me. I dI’d gain some insight in my portions and calories but it was also negative. I uninstalled the app.
Because weight lifting has always been my #1 go to workout. Ive learned to stay off the scale . It also depresses me.
I’m 35 and I have four kids, so I have to stick with. My metabolism sucks now, I can’t even lick a cupcake without gaining 2 pounds aND I also want to set an example for my kids.. but it feels so good to sweat and relieve stress. I can totally relate with your thoughts. I have always struggles with low self esteem and I still do. I am focusing on attending mass more often and trying to focus on what’s really important. One accomplishment this summer is I have been out in public without makeup a few times, and when I do wear it, it’s mininmal. I try not to even look in the mirror during the day to avoid those negative thoughts. Hang in there!
I’ve been there for sure!
So smart you’ve stayed off the scale. I’ve learned that too now that I’ve been weight lifting.
That made me laugh and sometimes I feel the same way. I look at a cupcake and I gain a pound. I think I should start going back to mass as well. I really do. Yeah, I NEVER wear makeup. I love it. I need to actually start wearing it more.
Stay strong and it sounds like your kids are pretty lucky to have a mom like you!
xo
I am right there with you. I haven’t used a scale for some time and then I go to the yearly visit to the OBGYN where they got my weight. I left so depressed. I’m 42 with 4 kids and like you, I just look at a cupcake and I gain weight. I go to spin class 4-5 days a week, ride my bike whenever I can and do yoga. Then I hear the “number” at the Dr.’s office and I was so frustrated – I felt like all the work I’ve done has been for nothing. UGH!!!!
I took a day off to pout and then I was at it again. I am also an adrenaline junky so I had to get rid of that energy some how. Still not happy but I plan to keep going…. I don’t use a scale except for the Dr. visit. I could ask them not to share the information but then curiosity kicks in.
Thanks for your post!!! We are all in this together.
Kaylene
Stay positive Kaylene!
You are kicking butt being a mom and that makes you strong!! XO
I needed this post today Taralynn! I also have internal struggles with that number on the scale. You’ve inspired me to say goodbye to that cruel machine. A friend taught me to go by how I feel and how my jeans fit, and I think I’d prefer to live life like that. Numbers on a scale aren’t what make us beautiful and radiant.
Hi, Shelby!
I’m so happy you’re making that choice. No matter how hard you work and how amazing you feel/look. That scale isn’t going to make things better. It’s just a big controlling box. Your friend is wise! xo
You can do it Taralynn! The scale knows nothing!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Thanks, Charmaine! xo & I always appreciate your comments! xo
Thank you for this, I find that I struggle with this. Whilst I want to be fit and strong and healthy, if the scale doesn’t say a certain number or below, I look in the mirror and suddenly see no progress. My legs suddenly look bigger and I feel bloated just because the scale told me I’m heavier, even though it’s things you say like muscle and water. Its a mind trick. I can eat totally healthy and run loads of miles, and put on a couple pounds, and just think what’s the point. Even if I hit loads of personal bests that week! Deep down I know I shouldn’t pay attention and it’s silly!! I hope one day I’ll be able to stop using the number as a means of measurement in my journey. I’m working on it! I’m glad you are able to feel comfortable without the scale 🙂
It’s so true. I can be loving the way I look and then all of a sudden hate it if the scale says otherwise! That is why I HAD to say goodbye.
You can most certainly give that scale up! Just do it:) Start using measuring tape if you have to, but that scale is the worst!
xo you got this!!!
I really appreciate your honesty about your body image struggles. It’s a topic so many of us deal with, and I would so much rather hear your honest thoughts about that than have you pretend everything is fine. Your followers aren’t here because you “look” a certain way – or at least, they shouldn’t be. Health is obviously so important, but not at the expense of living your best life. I hope you do whatever you need to do (including throwing the scale away!) in order to achieve that.
Thanks, Madison!
I think so many of us struggle inside and I know social media makes it a lot harder. I filter a lot of awful comments about my body, so the pressure does flare up sometimes. It’s nice to know that I don’t need to feel that way. Thank you for the kind words! I am going to continue doing everything the same, just saying adios to the scale. That’s all. xo
I LOVE this post. The vulnerability and realness of a struggle. I feel challenged to throw mine out now! I have always been encouraged to go by measurement by tape measures instead of a weight measure, but it’s stupid that I have wanted to hold on to something that doesn’t do much but make us feel bad about ourselves!
By the way, I have loved how active you’ve been lately, especially the doggie walks! I’m so glad that something as seemingly simple as a scale isn’t stopping you. Your such a joy to follow on social media. 🙂
Thank you, Haylee!
You should just do it. If you get any “feelings” after stepping on or off it, might be time to let go!
Being active and the fitness classes make me happy. I can’t let some dumb object stop me.
xo
I’ve never been attached to the scale because I’ve never owned one so I’ve always went off how I feel in my clothes–are they looser? That’s how I measure progress! 🙂
YOU CAN DO IT GIRL!
That’s the way to do it 🙂 But even if our clothes don’t fit as well, it may just be beautiful muscle so we can’t let that bother us either! xo
You won’t regret it! I had felt the same way for a long, long time. I was constantly thinking about how much I weighed.. It is not a fun place to be. I adopted intuitive eating and stopped weighing myself every day/week and I feel amazing! I do have my bad days but overall feel good about myself. Enjoy the journey!
I love the idea of intuitive eating and it helps a lot for sure! The scale just had to go and I’m happy to see you’re feeling amazing without it! xo Thanks for the positivity.
you go girl! you are strong. beautiful. worthy. its so easy to give that advice to EVERYONE but yourself isn’t it?
with all of your workouts, focusing on your nutrition and perfection – take breaks too. it’s possilble that your body is just in a continuous FIGHT OR FLIGHT mode and needs REST day! 🙂
WAY easier to give than take. I’m actually GREAT advice, taking it? not so much.
I definitely do rests days 🙂 I don’t plan them, but they come!
I don’t own a scale and am so glad I don’t. I know I would obsess over it if I did. If I’m at a friend’s house and they have a scale I’ll check but it’s not something I worry about that much. I used to be borderline anorexic but now I know that I fit in my clothes and workout and do my best to live a healthy lifestyle and that’s all I can do. It’s still hard though to look in the mirror and be completely happy with myself, it probably always will be.
So good you don’t own a scale and I know it’ll make me happier as well. You can always do things to think and be more positive! stay strong.
I love how authentic your words in this post are. The first step to truly healing your relationship with food and your body is to step away from the scale. <3 I wrote a 21 day workbook about how to start intuitively eating and start feeling free from food. If you're interested in checking it out it's available on Amazon and at Barnes & Noble. It's called Break Up With Your Diet.
Xoxo
Thank you, Gillian!
I’ll have to check that out!
I think that’s an amazing idea! Well done for identifying the underlying problem and dealing with that instead of just treating the symptoms. You’re a strong influence to other women and I hope that this creates a positive domino affect around you!!!!
I haven’t weighed myself in a couple of years. I’m seven months pregnant and my Midwife asked me how much weight I have gained, I couldn’t even tell her because I don’t know! I can judge my size based on how my clothes fit, and how healthy I feel. Also I just don’t care because I do amazing things every day, and me being a bit fatter doesn’t make those things any less amazing.
Lots of love!! (Come visit Northern Ireland!)
Hi, Sara!
Thank you so much for your kind words.
Congrats on your pregnancy! So amazing!
xo xo xo xo & I’d love to visit Ireland one day
I broke up with the scale probably 3 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made for my health and sanity! I now listen to my body when I am hungry, what it craves, when the best time to work out, etc. I have followed you since you were on Tumblr and I loved watching you grow, this is a great decision that you won’t regret! 🙂
Thank you, Karen! & you’re so right! Glad you’re going strong!
This is incredible, Taralynn! I’ve watched your journey through your blog and via instagram! This post makes me want to go throw out my scale right now! I’ve struggled with consistantly thinking i’m overweight (even when I was at my most physically fit stage in my life). Now I’ve had a desk job for a year and I’ve let the weight get to me, the scale doesn’t let me forget, I’ve been depressed mentally because of it and it does often make me not want to work out.
I actually broke up with my job. For more reasons than being unhappy, but it’s put a lot of stress on me and weight is one side effect. I’m hoping to turn my life around over this next month, and this may just be step #1!
I hope you decide to do it! The scale doesn’t seem like it’s making you happy either. At least have someone hide it from you for a while and see how you feel without it. Be strong and keep pushing towards your goals and dreams!!!
My secret to positive thinking is very easy. As a RN, I see people struggle every minute of the day to feel a little bit better. How lucky am I to wake up everyday healthy!!! Each day is a gift that I refuse to waste. I hope that helps you too! Thank you for your amazing blog, I look forward to every new post!
Thank you, Diane!!!
I needed this today. I was so sad this morning from the scale. I’m glad I’m not alone
Stay positive and do what is going to make you happy!
This is such a great post that I know I can relate to a great deal. I’m sure many other people have the same struggles. Thank you so much for posting!
Random question- you mentioned tracking your macros – is this typically something you do daily, track your food? What is your opinion of it, does it help you? I go back and forth between thinking its a great idea and a terrible idea. Would love your input!
<3
Thank you, Deanna!
I track my macros to make sure I’m eating enough with all of the working out I’m doing. I burn around 2700 calories a day with my workouts and I need to make sure I’m eating enough to stay healthy. You could do it twice a week if you wanted, everyday is too much for me.
As someone who has very similar experiences, I have to encourage you to listen to Summer Inanen’s podcast. She’s an advocate of body positivity and helps you learn HOW to get there. She encourages ladies to literally smash their scales with hammers. She has helped me on my body positivity journey immensely. Please look into her podcast and her programs. She’s incredible.
Love that! I’ll check her podcasts out!
OMG I WAS SO AFRAID WHEN I FIRST READ THAT CAPTION I THOUGHT YOU AND YOUR BF HAD BROKEN UP I WAS SO UPSET 🙁
NOOOOOOOO. I’d go crawl into a hole and cry for years. LOVE MY KYLE SO MUCH!!!!
Preach girl!!!
I broke up with the scale a long time ago because it made me miserable. We don’t even own one in our house! I gained 10 lbs. over the time period of being in high school to this body that can do incredible things. I’m talking volleyball allll day, weight lifting, hiking with the dog. I have always been active but in 2016 I really nailed it. I work out like I love it (and mostly I do), I eat like I owe my body everything (which I do) and I try to speak to myself in a positive way.
My biggest hurdle that I am still working on is respecting myself. I’m like you, never ever have I treated it like I should mentally. When I started weight lifting I went up a pant size and I was soooo upset. Not anymore, hello quads!
Keep it up, your honesty always comes at the right time, I was just thinking about this yesterday! Love it!
Thanks, Jessica. I can definitely relate.
We all need to learn how to respect ourselves more!
& quad squad for the win! xo
Taralynn, I used to weigh myself every day and I’ve recently decided today to stop weighing myself every single day. I’ve started hiking with my dog, going to WERQ class, which is a cardio hip hop and pop class. ( I was encouraged to get certified in and I did!) I’ve recently found my love for working out and have surrounded myself with positive people in my life. I love all your recipes too! I’ve never been really active and now I’ve started to become it. I was wondering do you have a playlist of music that you use on walks with your dogs or do you not listen to music while walking your dogs?
Love your story Demitria!!
Right now, I’ve been listening to The Weeknd’s new album lol I can’t get enough!!!
Hello hello to strong quads there, Jessica! And strong arms too, with all that Volleyball 🙂
I think we can all relate to this post in so many ways. Scale has ruined so many lives more than ex boyfriends hahah. On monday something similar happened to me and i felt so frustrated it was one of those days when you want to just cry but seeing yourself in the mirror but after this post i will go back to my house and throw away my scale and live happily ever after 🙂 Thank you Taralynn for always being an inspiration to girls like me out there.
Hahahaha I feel ya 😉
So glad that scale doesn’t have a place in your life anymore!
Yaasssssss!!! This!!!
My experience is so similar to yours. After recovering from an eating disorder, I still couldn’t manage to break up with my scale. Took me years….I was so scared at what I’d do without that number there to dictate life for me.
When I finally did it, I couldn’t believe how free I felt! I litterally haven’t see my weight in over 5 years. Even when going to the doctor, I step on backwards. It feels amazing to not have every decision I make tied to a silly little number. I wish all women would do this.
I FEEL YA!
I am going to remember that and continue in your footsteps!! Thank you for being an inspiration.
Way to go, girl – breaking up with the scale has tremendously saved me from some terrible, toxic habits. I have nightmares of memories where I’d survived 3+ weeks on the master cleanse (lemonade) diet and was so eager to step on the scale every morning (even though I was exhausted, depressed- my true self withering away. It was like the only 2 seconds I’d be happy in a day. And obviously, short lived once I started eating solids again…lots of time with gastro doctors after that.
I’ve said bye to “saying bye” so much since then, trust that our bodies are more intuitive then the media & our warped minds lead on.
Such a relatable piece – thank you for writing!
Yes! That scale can be so toxic. Crazy the measures we put our bodies through just to impress a scale. There was one point in time where I had four scales at my house. It was that bad!
Thank you for sharing!
xo
Good job girl! I did that for a long time after having my son, but recently I’ve pulled it back out again because while I am in great shape physically, my diet has been poor and I’ve been pre-hypertensive for about a year (darn nursing school!). I’ve started tracking sodium and my weight recently and luckily the reduction in sodium had worked incredibly fast for reducing my bp. I’m borderline overweight though so I am watching my weight for health reasons but I don’t let it ruin my day if it’s higher than I want (which it very much is haha). Feeling strong is so much better than a lower number though which is why it doesn’t bother me!
Gotta do what works best for you! 🙂 Glad you’re kicking butt and feeling good!
I had to break up with the scale years ago. I would weight myself and if I did’t like number I would starve myself for the rest of the day. That number was always on my mind.
So you said the number has gone up, despite all of you activity. But do your clothes fit better? Looser fitting now? I’m guessing you have put on tons of muscle. Either way, you look amazing.
Thank you for you posting about this. Remember that no matter the number on the scale, you are an inspiration to us all.
It’s awful and I’m very familiar with that cycle.
My top half is the same, more muscular for sure, but my bottom half has definitely gone up. I know that a lot of it is water retention because of all the workouts and my body is going through adjustments right now. I’m also 26 and our bodies start to change! It’s oK 🙂 I know hormones, genetics, and so many other things play a role. I just have to keep sticking it out and going forward. I feel GREAT and that’s all that matters.
XO XO
Tara – I’ve been reading your blog for a few years and love how REAL your posts are! This is my first time commenting and I’ve been meaning to share this blog post and website with you. I totally know you’ll relate to what Kelli has to say!
https://www.fitnessblender.com/blog/my-before-and-after-story-how-i-lost-40-lbs-and-beat-my-eating-disorder-
Also, Fitness Blender is an AMAZING resource for at-home workouts and nutrition tips. It didn’t make sense to me at first…cut back on exercise, stop obsessively tracking my food intake, stop weighing myself? But then I gave my body time to adjust and my mindset changed…they helped me tremendously!
Kelli and Daniel – the husband and wife team who run the free site – have something like 500 videos – HIIT, Kickboxing, Yoga, Strength training, etc. It’s definitely THE site that has helped me the most on my journey. They really are worth adding to your routine, hope you check it out!
I’ve actually done a lot of their workouts. Love them!!! Reminds me of a lot of the workouts we do in class.
Thank you for sharing that story! Can’t wait to read.
Yes! Scales are terrible! Like you said, they lie and they suck. It’s so much better to be free. I will admit I do still own one, but only to weigh my check in luggage to avoid extra charges haha <3 <3 <3
XO XO XO!!!! SO RIGHT.
I SOOO relate to this! I officially put my scale away at the top of my closet so I can’t just “check” my weight whenever I am in the bathroom. I was to the point was doing it several times a day.
I do have to say though, I occasionally do diet breaks (I also track my macros) so instead of eating in a deficit, I jump back up to my maintenance cals for a couple of weeks. When I go back to my deficit numbers, I am back on a more consistent weight loss instead of staying stagnant or losing 1 lbs every 3 weeks. You should look into a diet break and not being so observant with what you put into your body!
Also, I started counting macros last october and have lost 10lbs (after I was stuck for the longest time) and my physique has completely changed. When I tell people I *only* lost 10lbs, they think I am lying and lost more!
Anyway, this was a lot longer than I intended. I think you made the right decision! Just focus on being healthy and happy. the number on the scale sucks
Hi, Jordan!
Definitely not a healthy relationship with the scale and I’m so happy you made changes.
I definitely change up my diet. I like to make sure I’m eating enough food with all of my workouts because it can be havoc on your metabolism. I do more carbs some days and more protein on others. It’s a good cycle to play with. I definitely don’t deprive myself of anything which is helpful.
Ten pounds is a lot! + that doesn’t detect the muscle gained!
Thanks for commenting!! xo
Proud of you, girl! I, too, struggled with that stupid number being held over my head and eating away at my thoughts every day. It’s ridiculous that a machine could have so much power over our thoughts and our well-being but so it does at times. I haven’t used a scale in over 3 years and never looked back! I feel the strongest and leanest I’ve ever been in my life right now and that’s all that matters – I don’t care what the number is on the scale. So happy you’ve realized that.
Three years!! That is amazing. I am hoping to do the same! Thank you for your positivity.
Great post, and not one that is easy to discuss. I struggle with the “not good enough” feelings too even when I know damn well better that I am working hard for my health goals and doing the best I can (I suppose that is career wise too). It is getting better each day by really working on staying positive. I’ve added gratitude to the positive recently by making myself find three things I’m grateful for each day before I fall asleep. I feel happier than I have in a long time.
I had to break up with my food journal, at first it was a good tool, but I got to the point that if I wrote down anything “extra” in it than what I planned for the day I would beat myself up for it. That was 3 years ago. At first I did gain about 10-15 lbs but it was a good but hard lesson because I’ve lost it and then some from a more intuitive eating style. Now food doesn’t freak me out.
I also got rid of the clothes that fit when I weigh more. If my clothes start feeling snug, I give it a day or 2 to make sure it isn’t just bloat, which it almost always is, and make changes from there if needed. It’s too easy to always grab the larger size clothing because a day or 2 turns into a week and so on.
Love hearing that. Intuitive eating is amazing it really is!
Sounds like you have your lifestyle in check! Love that!
xo
Breaking up with the scale is worth it! I had no idea what I weighed for the last 15 years because I knew I was becoming obsessed with my weight in high school to an unhealthy amount. I recently had to stand on a scale month after month because I was pregnant. I can’t tell you how many times I cried, even while knowing I was gaining for a good reason. I got to the point early in my pregnancy I told them I didn’t need to know the number because I knew I wanted to enjoy the pregnancy. If I knew the number something in my head would tell me to diet, which wouldn’t be good. After I gave birth, I asked my Dr just how much I gained. Turns out it was only 29 pounds but in my mind it looked like 60. Thankfully I knew myself well enough to know that I didn’t need to know the number, now I have a perfect little 2 week old baby boy. My running shoes & I have had a break up which is killing me right now not being able to do much for 6 weeks. But we as humans need to remind us of the positives that that number on the scale doesn’t tell us.
Congrats on motherhood, Heather!!
And you are so right. That number only tells us one side of the story, but we know the other.
You look amazing. I was watching your Instagram story the other day and craved to have your muscular arms. The scale may tell you awful things, but it’s a liar!
Thank you, Cassie!!!
Taralynn this post could not have come at better timing! These last two days have been fraught with frustration over seeing the scale continue to increase despite doing everything I deemed ‘right’ in the way of fitness and health! It’s so easy to get caught up in a number and disregard the other measures of progress like strength and body fat percentage. Thanks for posting this, it has re-motivated me to keep working hard in the gym and the kitchen and loving myself for more than the number on the scale!!
So glad this post could help. Sounds like you’re going to keep pushing through! Stay strong! xo
I’m breaking up with my scale after this post! It’s crazy how much effect a stupid number can have on us! Recently my scale shows I’ve gained a few pounds, but my clothes and everything are fitting no different than they were before, yet I still feel myself feeling down about the number and making desperate attempts to lose the weight. So not healthy!
SO HAPPY YOU MADE THAT DECISION!!!!!
The scale can be your worst enemy for sure!
You have no idea how much I needed to read this. Just last night, I had a relapse in the form of a nervous break down because my body isn’t as thin as it was a year ago. I let the number on the scale control my emotions and behaviors. I let the fact that my number jumped 25 pounds in the last year send me into a frenzy of tears and negative thoughts. I let that number cloud how much progress I’ve made from having anorexic type behaviors so long ago. I let that number cloud my transformation from being rail thin to toned and fit. I let that number cloud how much happier I’ve been, and how I love my body even moreso now. So, Taralynn, thank you so much for sharing your stumbles and success. I’ve followed you for a long time, and you have no idea how much I can relate to you. I don’t believe in coinsidences, only blessings. And you, my friend, are a wonderful one. Today, I’m breaking up with the scale. God Bless!
Letting the control go will only happen when you let the thing that’s doing the controlling go. AKA the scale. It’s not easy, I know! I am SO proud of you for throwing out that scale. I am right there with you! xo xo Stay strong because you are beautiful!
Really needed to hear this today – helped SOOO much. Thank you for your honesty and positivity! 🙂 Greetings from Brazil.
XO!
124. That’s my number.
I’m 33 years old, and seeing my weight at (only!) 12 lbs over makes me angry and leaves me feeling hopeless every time. Such truth to this post– your best in years I’d say.
I’m obviously quite a bit older than you, but I’ve followed you for years because I can relate to you. Everything you said is everything that runs through my mind regularly. Halfway through reading, I thought, “Wait! Doesn’t she realize that muscle weighs more than fat?! You CAN be thinner and weigh more! Don’t be so hard on yourself!” but I know those are the exact same thoughts that are already running through your head. You know all of that already. But for whatever reason, nothing can come close to the feeling of accomplishment that you think you’ll feel when you hit that number. 124. Once I hit 124, everything will be perfect. I will be happy.
It’s completely nonsensical to think this way. I feel “angry” and hopeless” for being 12 lbs above some weight that I haven’t been since I was in high school 15+ years ago? Ridiculous! There are REAL problems out there, and yet we torture ourselves anyway. We go dairy free, gluten free, grain free, sugar free and still we’re not as thin as our friends who eat all of those things.
So yes, toss out that damn scale. Practice self compassion. Meditate. Listen to podcasts about self love. Talk to someone if you need to (it helps, really.). Do what makes you feel great. Feel happy. Feel alive! Makes you a nice compassionate person. Do more of the things that you’ve pushed to the side so that you could take one more fitness class. Or continue taking all the fitness classes you can! Whatever works best for you, but don’t be your own worst enemy. There are plenty of people out there who will try and knock you down and have nothing nice to say– don’t be like them and don’t bully yourself.
Lastly, talking to a professional, meditation, etc.– these are all things I’ve done lately to help myself as well. They really do help. Keep your head up, do you, and just know that through the ebbs and flows that will naturally occur with your thinking while you try and figure out what works for you and try to come to peace with things, know that there are people like you, like me, who get it, and that will offer nothing but support for you.
<3 Aileen in San Diego
I agree. I sometimes stop and think about how vain and ignorant I’m being. I’m worried about my scale number when there are people out there worrying about where they’ll get food if they are safe from terrorist, where they’ll sleep, if they’ll live another day with cancer, and the list goes on. I have to bring myself down to reality and understand that there are bigger problems in the world. If I paid more attention to those people and less on myself, I’d be a better person. This is why I am going back to church and being put back into reality of the outside world. I can’t put myself in a bubble anymore.
I really really appreciated your comment and love the advice! Thank you! You’re a really good writer 🙂
I’m working on mustering up the courage to take the plunge. Thanks for being so transparent and encouraging! I’ll get there one day. 🙂
Best thing you can do for yourself! xo
I am a frequent victim of the scale. I still believe on certain days I can eat more because I worked out and on more inactive days I’m acutely aware of everything I put in my mouth and how big my stomach is. It’s very hard but then I look in the mirror and I see my toned arms and my fierce calves and remember I ran at a great pace yesterday and I try to dismiss the thoughts. I remember when I didn’t have hair that grew and was always cold and everything looked terrible on me because I had no curves, and I was so socially awkward because I needed to avoid those situations with food. That helps get me through its hard. I hope one day I’ll be completely free of it. I appreciate your honesty and have been a loyal reader for years!
Been there on all of those scenarios. I am going to stay strong and keep off that scale and I hope you do the same, Stacie!
Thank you for reading all of these years! XO XO
You are SO not alone in this. I went from running ALL the time in high school running track/XC and playing soccer and basketball, and then in college started switching to quicker high intensity training and more weights and was no longer on a team. The scale naturally changed as I got older, but also felt like it wasn’t matching how I looked and felt! I felt so toned and althetic still, but the darn number made me freak out!! I think it’s important to move your body and nourish it properly, but that shouldn’t and can’t take alway from being present and living and enjoying yourself and your time with others! I know I’m more confident and happy after I move my body, so why punish myself when with a number that means nothing just to take all that satisfaction away?! Glad you’ve made this decision!!!! You will be so much happier exercising because you know it’s healthy and makes you HAPPY!!! Do more of what makes you happy and get rid of what doesn’t make you happy 🙂
It’s crazy what that DUMB number will do to ourselves! We are so prone to think that the number is what defines our bodies. I sometimes think people can see the number above my head and that is SO STUPID! You’re right, we need to do what makes us happy, because that is what health is! Not a number!
xo
I’m on a similar journey right now, and I just finished reading the book, “Body Kindness” by Rebecca Scritchfield. I cannot recommend it highly enough. It’s nearly biblical and focuses not only on practicing self compassion with respect to eating/weight but across all facets of a meaningful life. It’s also beautifully aesthetic. I strongly recommend it. Thanks for your transparency and willingness to share the struggle. It resonated with me. 🙂
I’ll look into that book! Thanks, Erica!
Yes! Mainly when it comes to “friendships” and taking the time to realize who true and real people are. I’m over all the fake-ness of life and I only want the amazing people around me.
I honestly have never been able to “break up” with it for more than a week, I’m always pulled back to it, which I’m sad to admit! I actually won a free month of pure barre in one of their drawings which I’m starting next month. I want to give my scale to my boyfriend so I don’t use it for an entire month! If I don’t have one, I can’t weigh myself. That kind of goes with your third question in that I love going by how I feel. If I feel good, I feel like I’m making progress. If I mess up and feel like a bloated whale, it’s just a heavy reminder to do better the rest of the day!
You should be proud of who you’ve become and what you’ve overcome! You’ve been through a lot, and you look AMAZING and happier than I’ve ever seen you since you met Kyle. I can tell he pushes you to be your best self, and it shows! I know the negative thoughts may not go away forever, but just always remember how far you’ve come!
You’ll love Barre! You’ll feel the pain after the first class but it gets easier. I feel like barre is a very kind/challenging workout for the body!
& You’re right. Kyle brings SO MUCH happiness into my life and I love him so much. (getting mushy) lol
Thank you for the kind words and I always love reading your comments!! Hope you stay kind to yourself as well!
I hope this isn’t taken the wrong way but have you ever considered seeing a therapist? Throwing away the scale might seem like an immediate solution but insecurities and low self esteem can’t be “cured” by eliminating an object from your life. Throwing away the scale won’t confront those issues, only you can confront those issues. Get well Tara, people are rooting for you!
Hi, Alex.
Not taking that the wrong way at all. I have considered seeing a therapist for sure, and I think that’s actually a very good idea. We could all use a little outside therapy/advice sometimes. I think it’s a place where you can be vulnerable!
Omg YES!!!! So freaking awesome! This is my life every day basically. I love health and fitness but the number on the scale rules me too much! I thought about breaking it off with the scale but I guess I’m worried I’ll gain a bunch of weight. But seriously, if my goal is health, why would a few pounds matter? Ahh. I’ll think about it. The struggle is real!! Way to go though. Proud of you.
We can’t let that happen! We are stronger than the scale! Just have someone hide that stupid box for a while! You’ll feel better!!!
Hi Taralynn,
I too got on the scale and felt defeated. I also was the carb counter, calorie counter, low fat eater. Then I was introduced to the Whole30, It was life changing. It changed my relationship with food, my body, my mood, and the scale! I suffered from migraines and acne, after 2 rounds of the whole30, I found out that gluten was the cause of these. My clarity and energy went up and through the roof, and all just by changing what I eat and seeing food in an whole new perspective. Check it out if you can.
We can’t let that happen to us. We bought the scale, and can toss the scale just as fast, if not faster! I’m very familiar with the Whole 30 but I don’t like putting restrictions on what I CAN/CANT have. It doesn’t work for all people, but it’s awesome if it worked for you! You have to listen to your body and do what works best! So glad you’re on a positive and healthy path! xo
I’ve been a reader of yours for years and love your recipes and all your posts about workouts! I find you inspiring and motivational for me on my own fitness journey. Im not one to leave comments but after reading this I feel the need to say how much this resonated with me. Ive struggled for what seems like forever with the pesky number on the scale and it can be so crushing to look at a number and be disappointed after feeling so accomplished! I read this post while on my commute home (I live in NYC and commute by subway) and it actually gave me chills! I love this idea of breaking up with the scale for good- I will definitely be breaking up with mine!
Thank you for stopping to comment. I appreciate it! I am so happy you’re taking the step to break up with that scale! Best break up I’ve ever had. Continue being strong and kicking butt! xo xo & please don’t be a stranger!
I totally used to be a trap of this, but after following so many fitness inspirations on Instagram I started to realize that eating healthy and working out is less about how much you weigh and more about how you feel about yourself and it has made all the difference for me!
Absolutely!
I saw your Insta post and got sad thinking that you and your boyfriend broke up!
?????? amazing post. Weight isn’t everything, yet we allow it to completely control how we feel about ourself. Love hearing your thoughts!
Ha no! You won’t get any post like that! Kyle isn’t going anywhere! lol Love him so much!
& You are right. That control is so unhealthy!
This was exactly what I needed to read. Being controlled by the scale is something I hate. But it’s hard to say goodbye. I hope I can stop, but I don’t think I’m ready yet. Hopefully soon, I hate how much it controls my life. Thank you for posting and talking about your struggles, it means a lot to those who read
You can stop. If you are letting that thing control you, you have to. Ask one of your friends to hide it from you for a while. Go back on it if you want in a month but it helps to step off and away. xo xo Stay strong!!!
Good for you!
I don’t own a scale. I used to be addicted to it and would beat myself up if the number ever went up. That’s just not healthy.
So here’s to a scale-less life, and a much happier one 🙂
http://www.justbeingbrooklyn.com
Crazy how we let that thing control our lives. No more!!
You are beautiful my friend. Thank you!
XO
Taralynn, thank you for this. I know many people (especially women) go through this same experience you’ve just documented. Reading your words was like listening to my inner monologue play out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done the same exact thing- I’ll be feeling great, eating well, taking care of my body and then I step on the scale and that number just ruins me. I’ve gone back and forth with the scale, still can’t seem to break-up with it completely, but I’m trying! Thank you for always being a source of inspiration! I’ve been following your journey since the tumblr days 🙂
It’s crazy how we punish ourselves, even when we work so hard! It’s the pressure to look or weigh a certain way and it’s sad! We can’t do that to ourselves. I was so happy with how I looked until I stepped on that scale yesterday. It just broke me, and that is NOT OK!!
Thank you for the kind words. Maybe have someone hide it from you and take a scale vacation to see how you feel! You may realize that you feel better without it!
The Food Psych Podcast with Christy Harrison is another good resource. It’s all about health at every size and intuitive eating. It’s such a struggle. Good luck.
Thank you!
Taralynn I broke up with my scale because if it said I lost weight it gave me the right to…. eat more and if I gained, it I threw my hands up and… ate more. So lose/lose scenario! You made the right decision ??.
Can’t let it control you! I know how that is!
Thank you for writing this. Millions of women feel the same way and sometimes we get this false image online. I scroll through Instagram guessing weights, wondering if they struggle, assuming they don’t eat what they post, and it gets obsessive. Thank you for sharing your struggles and relating to the readers.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do the same. I sometimes have to click off Instagram for the same reason.
hi! Tara!
o yeah just 2 months ago,I break up with the scale.however I am still struggling,and just like you ,I eat healthy and do exercise everyday! and one day like usual,I weigh myself,how frustrated I am!! I can’t believe the numble,why?how? and then I decided do whatever I want , I tossed my to-do-list in the trash,I started relax, and guess what?people around me said the shape of me is better and better, wow,so my body has changed ,I just focus on scale number, I forget what I want,I want be healthy , be happy. sometimes,we need remind of ourselves what exactly we want
that take a courage you speak it out ,thankyou
You just have to breathe, listen to yourself and do what works best for you! xo
I love this so much. I’m going through the same thing, except I THANKFULLY don’t own a scale. But I do it with my skin as I am acne prone with scars to prove it. I do it with my body overall. I am so incredibly hard on myself. I feel validated reading your post and that we can really change the vibration of our thoughts and send love to all the cells of our bodies. The cells pick up all of our emotions and thoughts and respond. It can be so hard to do, but we can totally communicate with our bodies. I learned it’s like our bodies are trying to show us where our minds are by physically showing us in ailments too. Thank you for being so honest with sharing your emotions and struggles. It’s such a vulnerable thing to do and that’s what makes it so courageous. And you are so beautiful.
Good you don’t own a scale! It’s day one and I already feel like a million bucks. Coffee first, Scale NEVER.
Have you ever read Paleomg blog? She’s a freaking bad ass. LITERALLY. She talks a lot about skin care and struggles. I really really love her blog and think you’d like it to!
xo xo xo
Thank you for this post, I really needed this today, after a really hard week. As someone who has struggled with weight since a child, and told by doctors to hop on the scale once to track weight loss. Then One doctor I went to see about runners knee, told me “you will always be a very large person so you will continue to have health problems.” I have lost 44pounds since that doctors visit (proved him wrong and changed doctors) You have definitely made me realise how much the scale can control your mind. It’s crazy how something that’s ment to help can do so much damage. my scale will be placed in the basement tonight! And only come out while packing for holidays. Thank you for being so honest and real! You are a real inspiration!!
Crazy a doctor would say that!!! Have someone hide that scale from you! It’s easy to go down to the basement to weight yourself 😉 XO XO Congrats on your weight loss and proving those doctors wrong! YOU GO GIRL!!!
This is awesome and I’m so proud of you for making this decision for YOU, and for doing it on your own. That just shows how far you’ve come in your health journey!
Ben chucked our scale for me because I got so upset whenever I’d weigh myself and see I was gaining weight, even though it was all muscle. Even though I didn’t have the willpower to throw it away on my own, it also helps to be with someone who wants you to see how beautiful you are WITHOUT a number (and I have a feeling Kyle is that for you)!
One thing that helps me so much is to be surrounded by other strong, badass women, which is why I love group classes. I feed off of seeing other girls who are crazy strong and work hard because it reminds me of how insanely beautiful and strong women as a whole are! When you think about it, we’re such a kickass group (I mean come on, we give birth haha). And that empowers me to better myself because as a teacher, I want my girls to see that in themselves.
So thank you, as always, for your honesty and encouragement. I hope you know that YOU are that badass chick and inspiration for so many people!
Thank you so much, Susie!
Oh, for sure. It’s funny because the batteries were removed from my scale lol (assuming it was kyle) hahahahaha He’s a very positive influence on me and he inspires me to be better and happier every day.
I totally agree! My friends are so bad-ass in the gym and so strong and they don’t give a crap what the scale says! I need to treat myself as I would treat my future daughter. I’d be sad if she felt the same as I do some days. I grew up in a house focussed around weight and it definitely screwed with me mentally. It’s hard to escape that environment, so I need to create a happier one and put boundaries around it.
Thanks for comment! xo xo
Beautifully written. I shared!
Thank you <3
Thanks for being honest with your readers. I’m a longtime reader since the days of UDS and I’ve watched your little blog grow and more importantly you grow as a person. I love seeing you visit some of my fave Charlotte coffee houses or neighborhoods. Congrats on your decision. Rooting for you from Raleigh!
Thank you, Cassie!
I really needed this today. I live with that number above my head every second.
Time to let it go, girl! I’m with you!
Taralynn, I believe this is a good decision. You look beautiful and healthy. We shouldn’t make our bodies our idols. I also struggled with anorexia when I was younger and now I’m the heaviest I’ve been since college and I feel great. My fiance loves it. Listen to your boyfriend when he tells you how beautiful you are. Focus on being healthy so you can be who Good made you to be. I’ll be praying for you.
You are so right! Thanks, Stacie!
I’ve been struggling with an ED for 7 years now and I can truly say I relate to this… So answering your questions:
1) I tried with the scale, I left it at my mom’s place… but then I took it back :/ I also broke up with the gym because I obsessed and if I didn’t go everyday I felt bad… But now I wish I could recover the habit of sport and stop it from becoming an obsession.
2) Answered in the previous question. At least what I do now is that I only weigh myself every 3 months, but for the previous 3-4 days I almost don’t eat anything and I start sweating (cold sweat) when I step on the fu**** scale…
3) I guess I don’t.
Sorry for the horrible negativity of my comment! I wish I could say goodbye to my scale, but the thing is… I don’t really want to 🙁
Good luck with your decision and I really hope you feel better
xoxoxo
You just have to give it time and heal. I love the gym because I have a hard time calming down during the day and it releases energy. I also love weights! I do 1/4 of the cardio that I used to! Staying active helps me think clearly. I get so foggy on days when I don’t get some exercise.
Sounds like the relationship with the scale is still a bad one. I hope you can break away soon!!
Don’t apologize for being real and honest. We all struggle and it’s ok! We just have to make changes. It’s possible!
You’ve totally convinced me to ditch the scale! I joined a gym 3 months ago and was SO incredibly upset and disappointed that I wasn’t losing weight (infact I actually gained about 3lbs) but I failed to praise myself for getting stronger, fitter and healthier than I have ever been in my life (no joke!) So moving forward I no longer care what I weigh!
I felt so amazing waking up this morning and going straight for the coffee and not the scale.
Keep up your workouts, say adios to the scale! I’m right there with you!
Hey, I just have one question. Is it okay to do HIIT five days a week? I’ve heard you should only do it 3 times a week and have rests inbetween?
It’s all about how your body responds. Some of the Hitt classes I do are easy (Tuesday and Wednesday) I use smaller weights on those days and only go as hard as I need to. If I’m sore and need a rest day, I do it! I take it! The first month, I took 48 hours in between workouts, but now I don’t get as sore anymore. I just listen to my body. I don’t push it where it shouldn’t go!:)
This was such a good post to read. So since the beginning of June, I have completely done a 180 with my lifestyle. Seriously, I went from big bowls of pasta and cookies for breakfast, eating everything but fruits and veggies and very little exercise to a very very clean, no processed food, eating lifestyle along with cardio and weights! I am loving my new lifestyle but I am not going to lie, after almost two months the scale has only gone done 5lbs and 5lbs isn’t anything to be upset about because I know I am gaining muscle from my workouts but I can’t get it out of my head that if I made such a big lifestyle change with my eating and fitness, I keep thinking I should be done a lot more than 5lbs, when it’s been about 8 weeks of completely changing my lifestyle. So I guess that is what gets me down and makes me frustrated on this lifestyle so I’d love to hear some advice and I loved hearing that I am not the only one that is thinking this way! Thanks for all you do Taralynn, you have no idea how much of a role model and inspiration you are to me!
Keep up the good work and keep doing what makes YOU feel better!
Hello there T! Greetings all the way from South Africa 🙂
Well done for picking yourself up again and also for making the best decision to resolve the situation. Us as women tend to put ourselves under so much pressure to look a certain way, to weigh a certain number, to fit into a certain dress size and we go through so many battles in order to get there or to feel like we fit in or to feel like we’re acceptable or good enough. But really a number on a scale doesn’t matter because it doesn’t make you who you are. What truly matters is how well you look after yourself, how much effort you put into maintaining a healthy life (physically, mentally, spiritually & emotionally), how you respect and love yourself and also how you reward yourself for what you have achieved.
I’ve also made that decision to not stop onto the scale anymore as I find every time I do that, it just breaks down my confidence. Using a scale initially was a good thing for me as it made me realize that I need to change my lifestyle as I’ve picked up too much weight. But later on I created this expectation within myself that the scale will give me a number I was hoping for because of healthy eating and regular exercise, but most of the time I’m not happy with the number the scale gives me. This can affect so many things in your life and we tend to almost become obsessed with it, so much so that we’re so unhappy and broken down inside. So I gave up on the scale 🙂
My decision has only been good for me because I feel better as well look better after myself. Who cares about a number on a scale! I will continue with healthy eating habits and exercise until I feel happy(ier) with my body, until I feel I’m closer to reaching my goals, until I feel in more comfortable in the clothes I wear, in other words, losing weight, building muscle and being fit and healthy without a scale.
By the way, I think you should pat yourself on your back coz wow, you have come a long way and you work extremely hard and you look absolutely amazing. The results speak for themselves. You’re truly and naturally beautiful inside out, don’t ever let a ‘number’ make you think otherwise.
You’ve had such an impact on me and my life these past few years and I know there’s sooooo many girls and women out there that feel the same.
Lets continue with happy & healthy living – without a scale 😉
Xxx
Jacqueline.
Hi, There!!
You are very right. That number is not who we are and we have to remember that. Glad you have stepped off the scale as well! Your comment was so beautiful and brought so much positivity into my day! Thank you for taking the time to reach out and share your story! I’m sure many women can relate! xo xo xo
Taralynn
That’s a lesson my super fit mom taught me. She said to never bother with the scale to judge if you’re gaining or losing weight but to use your clothes as that measurement tool. If something is feeling tight, you know you need to lay off the junk food for awhile until it fits just right again.
Very wise, but also to remember that not all clothes are going to fit the same even if you are gaining muscle and losing weight. My legs are so much more toned now but my pants have gone up a size. Sometimes that isn’t a grat measurement either 🙂 Just go on how you feel for sure!
You are such a beautiful person. I thin the reason why I come back to this blog weekly is because you experience what we all face on our journeys in life, and you tell us.
I’ve been on weight watchers for a year (I’ve quit 4 times WITHIN that year) and while I know for my health I need to lose weight I hate the idea that I have to be so focused on a number.
Good luck to you on your journey.
Thank you, Maggie!!
Keep staying strong and Don’t give up girl!!!
xo
Such a great post! I know two things that helped me the most. One, rest is really important. I used to work out 6 days a week and then a VERY long walk on the 7th and I felt like I was getting no where. i read something along the lines that the stress we put on our body working out, needs time to fully recover and repair and when I took two full days off for rest, I lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks without changing anything else 🙂 And also meditation. This is more so for your inner happiness. I just sit by myself for 10 minutes and breath. Sometimes my mind is quiet and sometimes it wanders but I always feel so good when I have meditated. Not sure if you have ever tried it, but may help with some of the self love youre looking for. It definitely helped me!! Either way you are fab so do whatever makes you feel your best!!
Thank you, Brittaniee!
All of that is great advice and we definitely need to let our bodies heal and rest! I’m all about rest days!! xo
But you’re not??? You just said it above. You’re not resting. Ever.
I do rest. I don’t “plan” rest days. I just take them. If I have “go to the gym Monday” on the schedule, and i’m sore, I’ll take a rest day. I’d rather rest a day when my body needs it and not on a day when I’m ready for a workout. Just because I don’t plan them doesn’t mean I don’t take them.
Taralynn,
I can relate to every word of this post. Recently, I had been training for the Tough Mudder and working out harder and longer than ever in my life. Also, I was super focused on meal prep and controlling every bite of food that went into my body. But my weight continued to rise. I found this book: https://www.amazon.com/Have-Your-Cake-Skinny-Jeans/dp/0988954419/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501248773&sr=8-1&keywords=skinny+jeans+book and it’s changed my life in just a few weeks. I know you’re no stranger to intuitive eating. Sometimes, I think we need some inspiration to get us back on the right path. This book talks about the dangers of the scale and encourages being in tune with our body. Since I’ve read it, I’ve felt more at peace with my body, my food choices, and my exercise tendencies than ever before. Also, it isn’t the point, but I have lost enough weight to fit back in all my “skinny” clothes, after months of killing myself at the gym with no results. Sometimes, we have to help ourselves find peace. Books help a lot. This one did for me. Good luck in your journey. You’re beautiful and fit, always!
Thank you for that recommendation! I’ll have to check it out.
Glad you’re finding peace and feeling good! That is so important!!
xo
This is a wonderful post. Taralynn, so many of of knows this feeling. I have struggled with exactly what you describe for ten years. I have just started fully recovering over the last year. It takes time but how I did it was throwing out the scale, gave up all exercise except yoga and walking (coming from a place of constant hit), read intuitive eating and started listening to my body no food rules, and I started following body positive people on instagram. Also, once I realized that weight is out of your control, that helped a lot. Your weight can fluctuate with a range of 10 pounds in a day due to hormones. Calories in do not equal calories out. And…your weight and health depend on so many factors. Also, self care and relaxation and vital to the health of women. Working out and not eating enough on certain weeks of you cycle is doing you way more harm than good. I am excited for you and wish you the best on your new journey. Because by letting go and practicing self love, that is when you will find the radiance of happiness your friend is experiencing. You will not feel as lost as you have been. I would love to help you out with your journey and help you by sharing my experience. Much love.
Thank you, Jamie!
Sounds like you’re on the right path to a good health.
I agree that self-love is bigger than it all and the most important part. xo xo
Such a great read!
Thanks!
This is why I read your blog everyday.
I appreciate that Linda! xo
Hey TARA! I thought I would let you know that I tagged you in a fun little 11-things-you-didn’t-know-about-me blog post! I’ve created 11 other questions for you to answer in a blog post or video 🙂
https://thefitty.com/2017/07/28/11-direct-questions-blue-sky-tag/
I hope you have time to answer some of them, because I’m really curious about your answers!
Thanks, Linda!
I really loved this today.
XO
Hi!
I used to have issues with the scale, but we got rid of that quite early on. I still cringe whenever I get on the scale in the doctor’s office, but have learned that what matters most (to me) is how my clothes fit, and how I feel. Whenever I eat a lot of junk or just overall bigger portions, then yes I gain, but worse I feel weighed down and sluggish. So whenever I eat healthy, I feel lighter and more energetic! I think finding balance in anything is always the hardest thing to do in life. That sweet spot is difficult to find, but oh so rewarding when you do. And what makes it tougher is that balance can mean one thing this year, and next year look completely different! I truly appreciate your candid blog post! It’s easy to assume that all of the health and fitness bloggers, who look flipping fantastic, don’t go through their struggles and are perfection. I’m glad you’re breaking that image, by being honest about your own personal struggles that so many others can relate to 🙂
I know I have problems with overanalyzing my body and criticizing where I could stand to tone up or lose more weight, but especially lately I’ve been thinking “Do I really want to focus all of my energy on these things? Do I really want those to weigh me down emotionally, just because I don’t look like my favorite Instagram people, or models on the cover of magazines?” In the end I don’t want my life dictated around what the “ideal” or “perfection” is at the moment for me and what is prescribed by society, but want to live life to the fullest which I can’t do if I’m constantly worrying about what I look like. All we can do is do our best, practice self-care, and make sure we and others treat ourselves right. You focus on that a lot and inspire me how to do small things throughout the day to honor myself, and do my body well.
Also, I think that if somebody finds me less attractive or judges me or decides I’m lesser than them because of my flaws, then we’re not a good fit. What matters in the end are the inner qualities and those I’d rather work on than my physical appearance which will change and fluctuate over time anyway.
Phew..long response to your post! Very passionate about this topic, and I really love that you wrote about it – thank you! 🙂
Greetings from a fellow Iowan! I recently just started a relationship with my scale! I decided to really get serious about getting healthier and changed my diet from what I thought was healthy (almost totally plant-based with little to no protein) to a high protein diet and wanted to make sure that it was working for me and didn’t start sending me in the opposite direction. I suffered an ED in high school so I was worried about getting obsessive over the number, but what weirdly helped me was stepping on the scale multiple times a day so I could prove to myself how much fluctuation can occur throughout one day and that the number that read that exact second didn’t reflect the awesome workout I had just put in but that it was reflecting maybe all the water I had just chugged after said workout. Once I could see that my diet and exercise had gotten me started in the right direction, I put it away and focused on other victories, such as my progress in yoga or those pants from college I kept to see if I could ever fit back into them, and I did! Now that I have overcome the fear of what exact number pops up, I’m not afraid of it anymore and I don’t let it take away from my victories that my healthier lifestyle was earning!
A few days ago I stepped on the scale and found that I had gained three pounds, despite working out every single day for the past week and eating as cleanly as possible. I definitely let it ruin my day and it sucked. Reading your post made me feel reassured that I’m not the only one dealing with this and I will likely not be stepping on that scale anytime soon!
Thank you so much for writing about real things and even if it is hard, just know you are giving people strength to do the same in their own lives!
That scale definitely doesn’t know the whole story! Keep kicking butt workout out and being healthy! We are all alike in a lot of ways! xo
The days are long, but the years are short……you know that great saying? When you feel like you did this morning, this saying is what you need to remember! Your life is what YOU make it, choose what you said you’d do and I think you’ll love yourself even more!!
So true!
I love this post because I feel like it was my brain that wrote it! I actually just had my body fat tested yesterday! And instead of focusing on the fact that every single measurement landed me in the “excellent” zone, all I saw was the number on the scale that was 5lbs more than it had been at home. And I spent the rest of the day letting it bother me! I decided to also break up with the scale and I tossed it into the garbage!
Thank you for writing this post and making me feel not so alone in this journey! I am new to your blog but I love it!
We get so fixated on that damn number, it’s sad. It takes away the joy of everything we’ve worked hard for! Glad you tossed it!!! And you’re definitely not alone.
Hey tara!
Two years ago my husband was so sick and tired of me freaking out about what I would see on the scale every day (sometimes twice a day), that he threw it out. And I have been SOOOOO thankful. It was seriously driving my disordered eating/exercising. I would do fasted cardio every morning before my 13 hour shift at the hospital, not eating until 10am, and see how long I could make those morning/non-bloated hours last. Ditching the scale was only the first step for me, I have had a long road the last few years. As time has gone by, I have really been able to analyze my motivations, and apart from wanting control and having otherwise low self esteem, so much of my motivation was truly vanity based because I secretly wanted to be the prettiest/thinnest/fittest girl in the room where ever I went. I wanted that admiration. Vanity was seriously like a poison in my life. But I’ve slowly realized that I, and every other female on this planet has wayyyy more important things to do than be something nice to look at for someone else. Good luck to you and know that you are perfect as is! God put us in these bodies for a reason, and I’m not going to pretend that I know better than He does! 🙂
xoxo
-Rachel
I haven’t weighed myself in 6 years and you want to know what? I FEEL GREAT… I never think about the scale and I just live my life – because LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED and ENJOYED!!! AND WHY should we let a NUMBER dictate how we feel and who we are?!
That’s amazing! I totally agree with you.
I can’t believe I’m reading this right now ( I told myself to break up with the scale today!!). I felt the exact same thing today and basically read all my feelings and thoughts in your post. After losing 50 pounds this past year, I always had this image of being at a goal weight. I don’t even know how I came up with the number. I assume its because everyone else my height and age are at that weight. I feel lots of pressure every week trying to get to that “goal weight” when in fact it’s not even that important. I’m sooo satisfied with how far I’ve come and how I look that I don’t want a number to control me.
Thank you for posting this! It truly just helps to reaffirm the importance of self love. I need to love the progress I’ve made and the non scale victories that come my way.
That is awesome, Delphine!!!
Love your attitude.
I so needed this. My scale is currently outside in the trashcan!
You go girl!
Ahhh! That number…I so needed this. I have had this number in my head that I think I should be for so long ( pre baby weight) it’s so frustrating because I’ve been feeling like no matter what I do I can quite reach it. I’ve gotten close only to go back up. I’m working out more and eating better than I ever have before and I just need to get rid of that scale and focus on being healthy! Thanks for such an honest post!
This brought tears to my eyes. I weighed myself for the first time in a while two weeks ago and noticed that I’d gained 12 pounds this year alone. Before this, I’d maintained my same weight since high school- 8 years ago! I’ve been really hard on myself about it, but am going to try to stop being so fixated on my “number” and to just focus on being my best self. Thank you <3
I didnt step on a scale since 9 years and feel a lot better since then
Amazing!
Love this post, I felt this way for a long time. I did a massive shred at the beginning of the year and was upset I only lost 10 lbs but I lost 32 inches all around! I just have to remind myself that is more important. However I have to admit since getting my fitbit charge hr and the fitbit Alta scale I don’t mind weighing myself. I look at the fat percentage and not the number.
I have always struggled with accepting my body and the number that I see on the scale. It seems like I can’t go a day without weighing myself, it makes me so anxious not knowing the number. It’s like my weight dictates how my day will go. A “good” number sets me up for a great day, but a “bad” number causes me to feel anxious and sad, and I will feel guilty for eating certain things on those days. I know that it is a problem, but I can’t seem to convince myself to stop. I am proud of you for finally getting rid of the scale! Hopefully, I will be able to make the same decision soon. I am trying to focus more on strength and health vs. appearance…but it is definitely a total shift in thinking.
I have been there and back. I think I went through a period of 3 years (22-25 y/o) where I didn’t own a scale because I couldn’t handle what it had to say. Last winter I randomly hopped on a scale at my gym, and I was SHOCKED by how much I weighed. I have always been active (marathons, half-marathons, crossfit, etc) and ate healthy, never been overweight by BMI, but work and life had just caused me to get off balance. Like you, even when I was healthy and active, I wasn’t happy with what I saw.
After that day I stepped on the scale I started a new diet/approach to eating and training that really changed my outlook. Since that day 1.5 years ago, I weigh myself almost every day. And I love my body more than ever. I love what it can do, and how it has changed. Of course there are things that I am working towards, and would like to achieve, but I am proud of my body where it is today. I know that some days im going to be up a few pounds, and thats ok. It has made me face my fears, and I am so much more comfortable in my own skin. For the first time i’m not fighting with my body.
I think you will get there one day too, whether or not you choose to get a scale again or not, it really doesn’t matter. But it’s a journey, and a process. Wishing you the best!
I apologize, for some reason I can only apply to comments instead of posting a comment. I cannot explain to you how much I needed this post this morning. Tears are rolling down my face. I haven’t read in awhile and I’m so glad I did today. I am breaking up with my scale.
Lots of love,
Hilary
Loved reading this! I also weighed myself almost every day and that number haunted me and forced me to make unhealthy choices. I haven’t used a scale (besides at the doctor’s office) in years, and honestly I have never been happier with my body!
Needed to read this today. Just started working out again in april and eating clean. Clothes less snug and tons of energy. But scale shows not so much progress. I am more toned ect. These are the little successes I am focusing on now less body lost inches and feeling better. You look,amazing and healthy many people want to look like you???. Be you
Thank you so much for posting this. You have been such an inspiration to me and you being vulnerable and sharing your struggles has helped immensely. I started a kickboxing fitness and nutrition program a couple of weeks ago and they told us not to even look at the scale. I had started a work weight loss competition two weeks before that and I couldn’t avoid it. I thought I had braced and mentally prepared myself for last week’s weigh in, but I gained a few pounds after what felt like the hardest week at the gym. Your reminders about the muscle mass and the water that’s being held in helped quiet those bad thoughts down because it’s science and the truth. Thank you so much for always being honest and open… you’re the best 🙂
Girl. This post is pure beauty!
I struggled with the number a lot in the past as well and for that reason, i haven’t had a scale in my house for over 5 years and it has made a world of difference. I still struggle at times, obviously, but I don’t have that number hanging over my head and that is so key to successful body positivity.
I’m in the fun period of baby belly/post partum body as I just had a baby a week ago and I know I have a long road ahead for recovery and getting back to my post baby body. I am sure it will be a struggle. But for the most part I didn’t get down on myself during pregnancy and so I am hoping the post partum journey will be an ok one.
Keep up what you’re doing – saying goodbye to the scale will be an incredible release for you!
Thank you for having the courage to be honest and vulnerable! 🙂 It makes us out here feel like we can also! 🙂
I had the same thing happen to me just this morning! I currently don’t own a scale but I work at a hospital, which means there’s scales everywhere. The last time I stepped on one was a week or two ago when I was super bloated and sluggish from “that time of the month” and it was not a good time. That’s in the past now though, so I stepped on again today hoping to see some more encouraging numbers since I was feeling and looking so much better. WRONG. It made me feel like the healthy choices and workouts and meal prep and the improvements I had seen in the mirror the past week were all for nothing, which is so not the case! I definitely can relate with the scale breakup.
I have to be honest. I broke up with my scale around the beginning of this year, and I loosened up a bit on my healthy habits because I felt like I had some well-deserved slack – I think I took it too far and landed in a slump – much like the one you described in January. I haven’t read your blog in awhile, but back in your undressed-skeleton days, you inspired me to start. Now, years later, finding that post and this one helped me to feel that love of fitness I once had. My wedding is in two onths and I get depressed when I think about how in shape I had always wanted o be for my wedding – but that is enough time to get back on track today! I hope to run another half marathon soon, the feeling is amazing. I am so happy to know you exprience these ups and downs. God bless, and keep pushing forward!!
Hey Nikki. I get married in 2 months and want to chat!
Thank you for posting this! It’s a nice reminder that we all have our struggles, and I think your way of dealing with it is very healthy. I haven’t checked my weight in over a year and it feels really good. Whenever I go to the doctor and they go to weigh me I always tell them to not say it out loud, and to put the scale back to zero before I’ll open my eyes. Might seem a bit extreme but it’s really helped me. The philosophy I try to stick to is if my clothes start feeling a bit tight or uncomfortable I eat more greens, drink more water, and cut back on the carbs until things level out. Once I learned to pay more attention to my body and listen to what it needs, the scale lost it’s power. Good for you on your newly “single” scale life! 😉
xo